Bill of Rights for the boards

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:08 PM

OK, ladies, the boards have been weird lately with a number of threads that have turned into a junior high catfight.  I propose a "bill of rights"  for both those that post and those that respond to a post so that we can get past all that stuff and start helping each other out again.

For those who post:

Agree to try to make their post as understandable as possible.  A lot of people don't want to write a big long thing but then they end up leaving out crucial bits of information which makes it extremely tough for those who respond to give good advice.

Agree that if a response isn't to your liking that you won't get all bent out of shape because of it.  If you are posting in an open forum like this you should expect some people to disagree with you.  This is different than someone abusing you- that will simply not be tolerated.  But if you ask a question in your post and someone says you shouldn't do it you can't get mad at them- you ASKED for it, you know?

Be clear in your post- if you are JUST venting then say so.  And if you want advice, ask for it and be ready to hear it even if you don't like it (though you don't have to actually do it).

For those who respond:

Be sensitive to the OP.  Wedding planning is stressful enough.  If someone says they are just venting then let them vent- if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.  If they ask a question give them an honest answer but reread it before you post to make sure you aren't being unnecessarily harsh.

Read the original post closely and try to read through all the responses before posting yours.  It is OK to parrot what someone else said in some circumstances but in others it is sometimes a waste of time and space.  For example, I once posted about my illness and said that while I was a proponent of adoption I really, really want to carry my own child but that I couldn't do it right now (and I listed all the reasons why not).  I can't tell you how many people responded telling me to adopt or to have a baby right now.  They clearly didn't really read the post and it was just kind of frustrating.

These are just the first few things that crossed my mind so everyone feel free to add on!

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:39 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

LOL Good idea Newsie! Although I thought things were getting better lately on here, but oh well...

Here are a couple more BILL OF RIGHTS from me...

1. BE CLEAR and SPECIFIC in your posts. So many times I have read posts that are soooo vague and full of run-on sentences, no commas, and zero punctuation. I understand not everyone has perfect grammar, but pls take the time to at least use obvious things like periods and spaces if possible lol. And be SPECIFIC about what it is youre looking for. I have read so many posts that say things like:

Wedding next year. Suggestions please?

HUH???? Suggestions for what? What do you want? And then I have to ask like 10 questions just to get some idea of what they may want, and then they never return to check their own post. Yes, life happens... but in general, if you post something and people take the time to answer you, COME BACK AND READ IT! :)

2. Try to recognize that in the end, this is just a Message Board. Some people take every comment WAAAY too seriously. I mean, I understand you want good advice and such, but in the grand scheme of things, does it REALLY matter that "iwuvjohny74" disagrees with your decision to have favors at your wedding? No. So try not to get sooo upset when people have differing opinions to your own. I cant tell you how many threads I have read where it is literally 25 pages of people just pointlessly arguing over their different opinions and how this one was too rude and that one was offensive, etc. Again, noone should put up with being blatantly abused or insulted, but sometimes people just need to relax and get a sense of humor too. I have no way of gaging what someone else deems offensive, so Im not going to tiptoe around trying to word things in a politically correct way. Bottom line is, whatever any of us says, SOMEONE will find it offensive. So lighten up, and realize everyone is on the boards for different reasons. Boredom, wedding planning, helping others, entertainment, form of escape, whatever. Dont insult other peoples reasons for being here. (i.e. "I dont have all the time in the world to spend on here like you" or "thats your 500th post ,maybe you should get a life.") Its just not cool.

And lastly, just relax and HAVE FUN with this ladies. Its supposed to be fun to be on here, and informative. So appreciate each others advice and opinions as much as you can. Thanks!


Kelley Lynn:)

Message was edited by kelleylynn on Mar 6, 2007 3:47 PM

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kiwibride Posts : 329 Registered: 1/23/07
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:39 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Here, Here, newsjunkie!

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Guest
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 9:09 PM Go to message in response to: kiwibride

so much drama - we should have to swear by these rules.

Daisypath Ticker

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buddysbethy Posts : 196 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 9:54 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

News, I like this and

 "I move to make Newsjunkie the sherrif to enforce the rules"  All in favor??  (seeing the motion passed the is in effect immediately) Smile

Beth


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Guest
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 10:07 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Thanks for posting this.... seriously, you would think we were a bunch of school girls instead of grown up women.  I hope people take this to heart.





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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 7:35 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Thanks everyone, so glad to hear such positive responses!  Last night I was thinking and I want to add that by posting that I am not at all saying that I am perfect or anything like that since I have definitely had my cranky moments BUT one person's cranky moment made towards another person under a lot of stress and frustration can create a monster.  I figure that if we all are aware of things we may do that are upsetting to others that it will at least cut it down a lot, you know?  So I make no promises and have no doubt that I will again say something stupid, as will many other people, but hopefully we won't be jumping down each other's throats without good cause!

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Guest
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 8:05 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Hello,

    I cant seem to figure out how to post a new one so..I need Help. I live in Jamiaca and I am planning a wedding in August in Miami..Been searching online but would love to get advise on florist, photographers the whole thing HELP!!!!!


 <a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10732;6/st/20070824/e/Gonna+get+married%21%21%21%21/k/93ba/event.png"></a>

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 8:25 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Hi Twiggie, Posting is really easy. Just go to whatever section you want to post in (this might go under Wedding planning ) and click on the right side of the page where it says Post a New Thread. then write your post in the box and hit send. Thats it! You will def get more replies if you post your own thread since people will konw when opening it what its about:)

Another Bill of Right... VENDORS GO AWAY lol. Stop tryin to disguise yourself as if you are NOT vendors, we are not stupid (meganut) Thats it. Im done now. :)


Kelley Lynn:)

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RockysGirl Posts : 1,125 Registered: 10/24/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 10:19 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I'm with you on all of this.  One other thing though.....

At least glance through the first page or two of a section if you are going to post a question.  Some are obviously unique questions, but when I see three threads on one page asking us the same question, it makes me want to bang my head against the wall.  There is no point in even opening it because you know verbatum what the post is going to say and what the responses are going to be.  It's like watching the same Becker rerun all day non stop.  Eech.


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JenlovesDon Posts : 414 Registered: 6/20/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 10:52 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I second that motion on the vendors! How annoying!

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Agum6 Posts : 476 Registered: 8/12/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 11:19 AM Go to message in response to: JenlovesDon

Where do I sign? This sounds great, thanks for posting this... we all need to be reminded from time to time about how we are coming off, not to take everything so seriously and about the real reasons for this board. Thanks, newsie and all other brides who are on this board for the right reasons....and not here to start fights or sell something! =)

                            Ashley & Nathan

                             May 26, 2007

                  

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 11:21 AM Go to message in response to: RockysGirl

"Its like watching the same Becker rerun all day nonstop."

LOLOL!!! OK, that is hands down one of the most off-the-wall random TV references Ive ever heard. Youre killin me over here, thats so funny. Becker. I dont know how anyone can sit through that piece of crap ever one time, never mind all day long. That was too funny Rocky:)


Kelley Lynn:)

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gemini5241980 Posts : 426 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 11:25 AM Go to message in response to: Agum6

News you know I support the whole Bill of Rights for the Boards. ( had enough of shall we say not so nice posts from people that didn't read my entire post).

I too thought things were actually getting a little better ( til I opened on of my posts to read what everyone had to say boy was I suprised).

I have learned though that misery loves company and refuse to let them get to me like they used to. Oh yeah and thanks for sticking up for me on that post the other day.


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RoBelle Posts : 1,236 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 2, 2007 11:54 AM Go to message in response to: gemini5241980

I have to agree! 

I have ALWAYS been one for reading posts and skipping through them for reasons like:  I have NO comments, NO advice to give, NO experience and most importantly NOTHING nice to say (which I is VERY rare for me because I ALWAYS try to be nice Wink), but like Kelley had mentioned there are some posts that I come across and I'm like HUH?? Undecided  Then I'd just skip and move to the next. 

Granted we do NOT know each other personally, most of us have NEVER met each other face to face and probably never will BUT that does NOT give each of us the right to come on here (or anywhere else for that matter) and dog each other out.  We ALL have feelings no matter who we are or where we come from and I have come to realize that some people just don't have a CLUE!  Really!!  There are some real simple minded people out there (I have a few friends like that) and it is our decision IF we are gonna chuck it up and help OR leave it alone, BUT we still don't have the right to BASH them because we assume that EVERYONE would automatically know what most of us do. 

I read on another post where the poster commented that it IS true that WE Americans love drama and I was like WTF?!?!  OBVIOUSLY she's a cup and a saucer short of a FULL place set!  Ok, I don't know if anyone got that, I'll explain if you didn't LOL!!!

BUT to make a long story short . . . we are ALL grown WOMEN on here. . . most of whom are more wiser and experienced than others. . . which is why I, ME circulate these boards frequently EVEN THOUGH I AM ALREADY MARRIED to get advice, to give advice, to give encouragement, to lend a shoulder to cry on and most importantly to HAVE FUN!!!

 


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