Just when I think it is over...

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 11

Samala Posts : 561 Registered: 12/19/06
Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 10, 2007 3:13 AM

It comes roaring back.

I am invited to my FSILs bachelorette party tomorrow (well today) . Okay, Super. So is FSIL-b. Wonderfull. Where you ask is the drama?

Well, it came out today that FSIL-b and I are not invited to all of the bachelorette party. We are only invited to the last part. The expensive part.( the dinner, the drinking, and the show. Not the fun girs day out in the city)

How did we find this out (since we were under the impression that the plans we were given are the plans)? Simple. When FSIL-b called to verify the time and location to meet tomorrow FSIL said "Oh, well you may want to meet us later at the other location. We don't know if we will be done with our day out yet." 

Okay, if it was just the bridesmaids she was out with and all of the rest of the party was hooking up later I wouldn't care. But it's not. It is just the two of us being excluded.

I personanly think it stems from thr fact that neither of us are willing to pay money to cram in a room with 3 other people we don't know to spen the night downtown. I live 20 minutes away. I can stay as late as I want and not spend the night uncomfortably. She got very upset when I told her this. And then when FSIL-b mentioned she would not be staying in the hotel FSIL said "yeah Samala isn't either" and then hung up on her. I could see being upset if we were cutting out super early. But we both told her we planned on staying till 1 or 2 (or when the went to bed. Which ever came first). So we would have been there through all of the party. 

We are both terribly tempted to just not show. But I don't want to start a war, and I realy don't want to enchorage this behavior to continue. But I am very hurt and insulted that she would exclude us like this.

I hate to think how much more hurt I would have been to find out they had been out all day when we showed up thinking it was the begining of the party.  

I don't know what to do. I realy DON'T want to go, as it is obvious that I am not welcome. Frankly I have no interest in shelling out money when she is pulling this kind of stunt. And in actuality I could give a flying fig how she thinks of me. What I do care about is my FH and how he feels. And I am afraid if I don't show she will use this as amunition to attack him. And this is his sister. He can't belieive she is doing this, and he can't understand why she is treating us this way. I honestly am starting to get past caring. But he is appalled. And I worry whatever I do, go, don't go, may come back to haunt him.

I think I am going to sleep on it. And if I can suck it up I'll go and play nice and pretend I never found out that she is being a brat. But  if FSIL-b refuses to go.... i don't know that I could handle it by myself.

 

I have no idea if this made any sense. But I can't vent to FH (he is too upset by her behavior) and no one else is awake at home for me to talk to. I needed to vent. So I am still undecided as to my future actions, but at least I have gotten it off my chest.

Thanks for listening all. 




.:Samala:.

Can't wait till September 15, 2007!



Reply


Emerald928 Posts : 155 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 10, 2007 11:23 AM Go to message in response to: Samala

Well, it's a very sucky situation, and unfortunately, there's not much you can do. (at least today). Since it is "her day," and she seems like the type that would complain to your FMIL or someone else if you acted aloof and didn't show up. It sucks, but I would put on my game face, and do my best to have some sort of fun tonight. Then maybe another day, once the festivities are over, you and FSIL-b can confront her, or your FH can.

If you want to be mean, just skimp on her wedding present...lol. Let us know how it goes today.


"Some find at 18 what others spend their entire lives searching for."

                         Beth & Tom- 6 years and counting....

 

Reply

Samala Posts : 561 Registered: 12/19/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 10, 2007 11:30 AM Go to message in response to: Emerald928

Well she just called me this morning saying "Hey, just wanted to let you know all of the rest of us are going shopping at watertower place" 

Ummm now you tell me? I have other stuf to do. AND she changed the location from watertower to the Fox Valley mall. (why?) and instead of calling me, she called my FH.

I can't go (oh darn) and he told her that. But why would she call him?

Oh yeah, and my FH aand his bro are not invited to her FHs bachelor party either. So It's not limited to us two girls. 




.:Samala:.

Can't wait till September 15, 2007!



Reply


SaucyMrsK Posts : 1,175 Registered: 12/27/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 10, 2007 12:14 PM Go to message in response to: Samala

Hey Samala

I bet I am more vidictive than you.. but if I was in your place Id call FSIL-b and say.. hey lets go shopping at (correct location of other  girls) and get a mani and a pedi and spend the day together before we hook up with ...

Probably bound to run into them, and it makes a HUGE STATEMENT. Not even nasty, just says basically,  that you could care less but are not letting her rudeness ruin your day!

Cant wait to see how this all ends up! No matter way Samala, have a great day, go the party tonight, and hve a good time in spit of her.  you'll be the bigger person for taking the high road and everyone will see it!


Reply
Guest
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 10, 2007 12:24 PM Go to message in response to: SaucyMrsK

Ooooh, I like Jan's idea!!! Tongue out

Reply


gregsgirl Posts : 252 Registered: 12/19/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 10, 2007 4:22 PM Go to message in response to: Samala

Oh, I'm sorry Samala! What a rotten thing for your FSIL to do. The nerve of people constantly amazes me. Let us know how it goes if you decide to attend.

Reply

Samala Posts : 561 Registered: 12/19/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 11, 2007 1:53 AM Go to message in response to: gregsgirl

We did have the thought of running into them while shopping.... but we opted not to. We met them at the resturant.  We decided to go and play nice, and not give FSIL a chance to talk bad about us.

We went to dinner. BUt FSIL picked one of the only resturants in downtown chicago to not take reservations. And the wait was an hour to an hour  and a half for seating. We need to leave in 2 hours to make it to our comedy show.

So we wound up seating in the cafe area. And they didn't have any big tables so we wound up at all different tables. FSIL-b and I were together with 2 other girls. Yeah.... not so fun.  We tried..... but we just didn't know these other girls.

Then we went to Second City comedy show. The show we went to wasn't that great, but hey, no bigggie.

Then we went back to the hotel for a little while before FSIL-b and I left. (We couldn't make ourselves stay late. BUt we did stay for an hour or so)

Through it all FSIL never talked to us, or realy interacted at all. There was no blatant nastyness (thank goodness) but we definitly could tell we realy werent welcome.

The kicker was when we left. When other people would leave FSIL would get up and hug them and say 'make sure you call when you get home safe' when we left all she said was "bye" as she took my vacated seat.

 

And this was AFTER FSIL made a huge fuss about FSIL-b not feeling comfortably hugging her hello. FSIL-b kind did a half hug and FSIL seriously sat there with her arms out saying "I want a hug" and refusing to move, or say anything else. She wouldn't even take the kinda half hugs FSIL-b felt comfortable with. It had to be a big hug.

This was in the middle of a shopping center!

 IN the end we made it through, and there were no blow ups. So all is tolerable. BUt man was it a looong night!

But, hey to make up for it two friends of ours invited FH and I over to sit in the hot tub for an hour. ANd I just got home from that. So something good happend today!

 

Thanks for the support ladies! I just hope there are no more run ins in the future. It's so not worth stressing over this garbage... But it is FH's sister that is doing this. So it is hard not to get stressed.

Anyways, I am off to crash for the night. I can't wait to sleep in. Todays wake up call was FSIL calling to tell me about the shopping.

Just how I wanted to start my day. lol 




.:Samala:.

Can't wait till September 15, 2007!



Reply

Samala Posts : 561 Registered: 12/19/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 11, 2007 2:00 AM Go to message in response to: Samala

Oh, and I was going to go out and get FSIL massage oil and a massage book as a gift but I didnt want to spend that much money on her in light of her actions.

So I would up at Kohls and bought her 4 pairs of 'sexy' panties. One said "He loves me" with a daisy on it. Another said "You break it" on the fron and "you bought it" on the back. another were plain blue in the front and layers of blue lace in the back. And the last were just nice black satin and lace bottoms. All of them were clearanced. So it looked like I spent waty more that I actualy did.

Hey, Everyone needs sexy undies right?

I wasn't going to get her anything, but I knew everyone else would, and I would look bad if I didn't.  I am glad I did. Because most everyone else went all out and got her seriously expensive stuff. LOL  




.:Samala:.

Can't wait till September 15, 2007!



Reply
Guest
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 11, 2007 2:41 AM Go to message in response to: Samala

I say Good For You! I'm glad you both went, put your best faces forward and let her be the bad guy. I think that's great that you bought her clearance panties from Kohl's. I wouldn't have spent any more money on her either after the way she treated you two.

                                       

Reply


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 11, 2007 11:11 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Samala, this girl sounds like a real piece of work. What a nightmare! Question: Has she always treated you this way? Does she not like you or something, and if not, why? It sounds like there is more to this than just the party... I mean, does she normally act this immature? You handled yourself perfectly. Now she has ZERO ammunition if she decided to be this way in the future. You showed up and had class. She did not.
Kelley Lynn:)

Reply

Samala Posts : 561 Registered: 12/19/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 11, 2007 1:34 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Kelleylynn, this is fairly recent behavior on her part. I used to get along fine with her. But since my FH and I got engaged she has been very obnoxious. She had a temper tantrum when we asked her to be an usher in our wedding and not a bridesmaid. (nevermind that her brothers are ushers in her wedding. Which is fine with us, we just don't know why she flipped when we did it)

And the now this garbage with the bachelorette party.

We also found out that she has already planned her wedding shower. For two weeks from now. And as of yet the invitations haven't gone out , but all the rest of her friends already know the details.  I personaly won't be able to go, because I have plans with my family.

It's just total crazyness. I am beyond caring about her actions now. I am just expecting more garbage along the way. I am just going to try and deal with her as best I can and not play the same games. 

We realy have no idea where this behavior is coming from. We are all totaly perplexed. Even her parents are amazed at this behavior. I have some guesses as to what sparked it, but no way to know for sure.

So all I can do is deal with it.

At least the drama is over for the moment. It could have been far worse than it was.  Undecided




.:Samala:.

Can't wait till September 15, 2007!



Reply


Emerald928 Posts : 155 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Just when I think it is over...
Posted: Feb 11, 2007 10:25 PM Go to message in response to: Samala

Did this start when you started planning your wedding? A lot of brides are offended when others get engaged while they are planning their wedding, and are afraid to be upstaged. It's childish, but it happens all the time...At least you did a good job being the nice one and not stooping to her level.

"Some find at 18 what others spend their entire lives searching for."

                         Beth & Tom- 6 years and counting....

 

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine