People who did not send wedding gifts

Online Users: 1,351 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 77
Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 12, 2006 12:58 PM Go to message in response to: 071707

I had a girl come to my wedding (the girlfriend of a close guy friend of mine and DH who couldn't come because  he was stuck in Egypt with his family) I sent the invite to My guy frind and her....when he couldn't come, she came and brought a girlfriend. (and her family is loaded...she dosen't work, has a new car, designer clothes and bags and shoes....gets WHATEVER she wants...and she KNOWS about etiquette) Well, she didn't come to the ceremony, showed up at the reception when appetizers were being given out (with her "friend" mind you) they both ate, drank (free beer and wine all night) And NOT EVEN A CARD!!!! I saw her about 2 months after the wedding when my guy friend got back in the states...and she was like "I didn't get you a wedding gift since I didn't know what you wanted...let me know." WTF...like I am actually going to be rude enough to TELL someone what to buy me!!! Ummmm  no!! Some people just don't get it!!

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 12, 2006 2:05 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

LOL Gin that is the WORST and the LAMEST isnt it? I had like three people say that to me before and after the wedding. "Um, what do you want? what should I get you?" Yeah okay, let me sit here and TELL you what to get ME for a gift. Not too tacky lol. Or my other favorite is "oh... your gift is on its way." One of my bosses who I work for at the college couldnt attend the wedding and he never got us a gift. Ok whatever. But now EVERYTIME he sees me on campus when Im teaching he says "oh yeah yeah your gift is still upstate in my other home. I keep forgetting it" Its just so funny how far people will go to make excuses why they didnt get a gift. Isnt it just easier to GIVE A GIFT? lol seems like a lot of work with all the fibs and excuses. Jeez.
Kelley Lynn:)

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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 12, 2006 2:54 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Right kelley!! I wanted to tel her that most people who gave gifts at the wedding gave a check for 1k and up!! LOL (totally not true, but would have been funny!!LOL) Like I am going to sit here and tell you what to buy me!! How tacky!! I am sorry but when I am in doubt I give money or gift cards (and for a wedding I ALWAYS give $$...and usually a small more sentimental gift)...Your right though...it seems to take so much more effort and time to lie about it than if they would have just gotten off their rears and got at least a dog gone card!!!

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LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 12, 2006 5:44 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

Newsjunkie- Yeah, I usually give $75- $100 for a wedding present too.  More if they are good friends.  And probably a little less if we are not very close & not attending the wedding.  I try to base our gifts on what the couple is paying for our food & drinks.  I don't want to be rude.  I hope the $20 gift did send them a message!Wink

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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 13, 2006 11:35 AM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

No, you are definately not the only one.  We havent had the wedding yet, but I completely agree with you.  When ever we get invited to a wedding, we send at least a card and normally some money or a gift card to the stores they were registered with.  And, it doesn't even matter how close we are to them.  The least they could have done was send a card saying congratulations and sorry we couldn't be there for your big day!  I don't really have any advice or anything, just wanted to reassure you that you weren't over reacting or anything! And, sorry about the whole situation!


Ashaley Lynn

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RockysGirl Posts : 1,125 Registered: 10/24/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 18, 2006 4:46 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I have always felt that I was for the most part up on what is proper and what is not.  I lived the majority of my life in a little country town in the sticks, but come from more proper city setting.  (not to say that there is anything wrong with country, but where I lived people were clueless)  After getting on these boards though, I realize that there are many things I didn't know.  Now I feel sort of bad.

Of course I have to take my knowledge of things into consideration.  What I learned came from my family, so that must be what they know too.  My Mom's family should know for the most part how to do things properly, but Dad's family....yeah.  FH's family is even more questionable.  I'm just assuming we'll end up with next to nothing, and anything above that will be a surprise.  (it would be nice if I knew what cash we were getting so I could plan on that and quit my second/honeymoon money job!)

I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that none of FH's old "friends" from his hometown crash.  We'll be "full up" on toothless wonders in Twisted Sister Tees doing lines next to the cake!


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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 1:56 PM Go to message in response to: RockysGirl

"Toothless wonders in Twisted Sister Tees doing lines next to the cake"- Really?  Or are you exaggerating?  If not, whoah, I feel so bad for you!  My parents went to a wedding once where the wedding party was snorting cocaine in the parking lot and possibly the bathroom, too.  And that wasn't even the worst of it... but at least they didn't show up in Twisted sister t-shirts!

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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 2:05 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

After going through our gifts and cards this weekend, I was surprised by the number of people that attended that didnt even give us a card (including our best-man and his wife... not even a card!)  There were several people there that I now know were there (after seeing the ceremony video) that ate food (Saw pictures of them eating it!!) that didnt even come up to us ONCE (we also had a recieving line) to even congratulate us!  That blew my mind more!!


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RockysGirl Posts : 1,125 Registered: 10/24/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 3:57 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

newsjunkie - I'm for the most part exagerating just a little bit - the toothless and the Twisted Sister part I'm not joking about, but if anything illegal surfaces, they will be booted immediately.  None are invited, but it will be in his tiny little home town, so if people know where it is......

actually, one of the groomsmen is like that too.  He even asked if he was going to be invited after we asked him to be in the wedding.  I guess FH just hung out with some people when he was younger that didn't turn out like he did.


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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Dec 19, 2006 10:49 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Not even from the best man!  Wow, what is up with people?  I KNOW most of them know the proper etiquette, especially since they were married and presumably had their own wedding.  That actually reminded me that DH's best man and all the groomsmen and their wives (one of which was my bridesmaid, another one played the flute) got together and gave us one gift- 4 place settings and a salt and pepper thing from Pottery Barn that we didn't register for.  Not that you can't go off the registry but these were every day type of place settings and we had already been given 12 place settings from our Crate and Barrel registry.  Weird.  We are going to quietly exchange them for something else and hope that if they ever ask that they will understand.  To make it all even weirder it was pretty casual stuff and I know they didn't spend more than $100- between 6 adults!  Still, the thought definitely counts so I am not complaining, just saying it was a little weird.

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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 19, 2007 2:19 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

..


Message was edited by Becca418 on Mar 21, 2007 1:10 PM

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Guest
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 19, 2007 3:10 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Becca no one that I recall reading was complaining about getting a cheap gift, they were upset about not getting anything, especially from people they were close to... There have been times I could only afford a $20 gift as well, but I made a nice card and stretched my $20 as far as it could go.  No one is OBLIGATED to give a gift (and I've told my BM's don't get me anything since they're spending so much) but I would be kind of hurt if lets say my sister didn't come and didn't even send a card to say "Hey I can't make it but I'm happy for you".  I think that was more of what these ladies were upset about.


 
November 3, 2007 I marry my best friend!

 

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xNikkiHeartsMikex Posts : 341 Registered: 2/19/07
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 19, 2007 5:50 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I at least always give a card to someone if they invite me to their wedding. Not always money (we try) but I don't feel bad if all I can give is a card. 

As for people in your wedding party, maybe to some it's a social faux pas for them to not get you anything, but they did you the honor of standing up for you in your wedding, planning (and paying) for parties for you, for their hair and make-up, their clothing, etc. They also were instrumental in making sure your day went smoothly, most of the time. To me that's more than enough  thanks and a gift, and not receiving a card wouldn't bother me in the slightest. They've already spent enough, really. 

Personally, I don't care too much who gives a card and/or a gift, and who just shows up and has a good time. Everyone is not like me, I understand that, but my family just being there is enough for me to be happy.. not to mention that they'll have all had to fly across the country just to see me get married. I don't expect an extra 100 on top of that, or hell, even a card, after they have made the effort to be at my day. If they do, it's a nice gesture, I just know I won't be offended.

My advice to any other brides is, if it does upset/offend you for this sort of breach of etiquette to occur, please try to bear in mind that a lot of things can be going on in people's lives that could have affected whether or not they gave you a card or a present, things you don't know about. The only thing you can really do though is just suck it up and pretend like it doesn't bug you, because if you did make a big deal out of it you could appear to be ungracious and greedy, even if it's just the etiquette that upsets you about it.  


imghttp://www.tickercentral.com/view/7xoe/1.png[/img]

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:45 PM Go to message in response to: xNikkiHeartsMikex

Nikki, you have completely missed the point.

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: People who did not send wedding gifts
Posted: Mar 20, 2007 12:46 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Becca, you chose to make THAT your very first post on this site? 

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