UH! I am so aggrevated right now. This weekend I went with my girls to the dress shop so they could have their dresses altered. Everyone was getting along fine until it was my MOHs turn to have her dress pinned. She was talking to the seamstress as she was pinning it, and all of a sudden she stormed out of the room and said that she refused to get her dress altered here. When I asked her what the problem was, her response was this: "The seamstress said that this was just our first fitting for the dress, and if I happen to gain any weight between now and the wedding and I need a second fitting to make the dress fit me then she's going to charge me for another fitting!" I was in shock!! I couldn't believe that she thought the dress shop was going to do her first fitting for her, have her pay, try it on in a month, and if everything fits take it home. And then in a few months if she happens to gain weight, they would alter her dress for free?? Ummm...I've never heard of such a thing! Every time I have gotten a dress altered, you need to pay for each fitting! I couldn't believe the attitude she had. She took her dress home that day without getting it altered and she kept saying that she had all these wonderful connections and she would find her own seamstress. So I just let her have her little tantrum without saying too much because I knew I was on the verge of saying something I would regret. So we all leave the dress shop and we go out to dinner together, and she would not stop complaining about the whole thing, and then she says to me "What kind of place did you pick to get our dresses? I would never buy my wedding dress from here." I almost burst into tears when she said this...I mean I bought my dress there and I had a wonderful experience.
During dinner my girls tried to ignore her as best as they could and they were talking and giggling about things and my MOH just kept rolling her eyes at them and kept to herself the entire time. Then we get back in the car to go back home and that's when she really put me over the edge.
2 weeks ago my puppy had to have emergency surgery because he decided to eat a rock and it got stuck in his intestines (my dog is not too smart). The surgery ended up costing us $4,000. When we found out how much the surgery was, we considered cancelling our honeymoon because we didn't think we could afford both, but my FH said that it would be no problem and we would find a way to work it out. Well, my MOH decides to tell me that I'm being a bitch to my FH and I'm putting way to much pressure on my FH to treat me like a princess and take me on an extravagant honeymoon. When she said that it took all that I had to not throw her out of the car! I was in total shock at what just came out of her mouth. My other BMs were in the back seat listening to the whole thing and there was just total silence. No one even knew what to say.
She is just making it so uncomfortable for everyone, and now she's gotten to the point where she's making me feel like crap about everything I've chosen for the wedding, including my dress! UH! I thought MOHs were supposed to be there for you, not talk down to you??
I'm sorry this is so long, but I just had to vent. I just don't know what to do about her.
The dress shop story sounds crazy! Does your MOH have weight issues or something where she would be over sensitive. No excuse for how she acted but maybe something else is going on, not just that they were going to charge for another fitting.
The part with your FH really made me want to tell this girl off! Your MOH has no right talking to you like that!! How dare she tell you how you are putting too much pressure on your FH, she doesn't know how your relationship is!!! This is your special time and he sounds like he wants to take you on a nice honeymoon, not you are making him! And what a bitch for her to tell you that you are acting bad or like a princess, whatever you probably are a princess in his eyes (in a good may) and he wants to show you how he loves you.
Do you think she is jealous? Sounds like she has a lot of emotional issues being so bitchy and rolling the eyes....
Hope this gets better soon! I think next time she says something like that you should confront her, say something like "I don't understand why you are talking to me like this, giving me such attitude, did I do something wrong for you to act like this?" Maybe your other BMs should start sticking up for you too and not sitting in silence, that way your MOH would see that she is out of line!
Do you think that it is something more personal than just her being a bitch to you? Does she have a boyfriend or anything? She could just be getting jealous of many different things, your relationship with your FH, your other BM's, who knows?!
I think you need to put her in place, nicely. I would def had said something about that honeymoon thing, it is none of her business to make accusations like that. You are a princess to your man, and I think that's where the jealousy steps in. You picked her to be your MOH for many great reasons I'm sure, you should have no problems sitting down and talking with her about her rudeness.
I too agree with the post about only getting charged once. I personally have never been charged for every time I go to a fitting, but then again I have never had a dress alterated with being taken in and then have to have it taken back out, so I don't know. You still have 6 months, so I wouldn't worry about the alterations thing. I just wonder what made her flip out like that.
Obviously she is not the friend you thought she was. I don't care how well you know them or how long. If my MOH said and did all those things to me, I would simply sit her down and tell her how I feel and then tell her she is no longer my MOH. IDK nothing is set in stone for these kinds of things. I was a BM for one of my supposen good friends until the night of her Bachlorette party when she told me off in the resturant for no reason. She thought everyone had to cater to her the entire night and do exactly what she said and when. I'm sorry you don't talk to friends this way or be a Bitch to everyone in the process. The next day I un-invited myself to be in the wedding after she stormed out of the limo I arranged for her and didn't even say thank you for everything I did that night. She ignored me the rest of the night and later proclaimed that she meant what she said and was not sorry for telling me to shut the Fuck up. WOW, why am I in your wedding again? So, when stuff like that happens whether you are a Bride or BM you don't have to take that crap from ppl. Stand up for yourself!! It's YOUR wedding by the way!
Re: MOH driving BMs and bride crazy!! kind of long...
Posted: Dec 6, 2006 12:30 PMGo to messagein response to: AshBear21
It's funny because before I got engaged, she was the nicest person, and so easy to get along with, and we always talked about how one day we'd be each others MOH... well once that ring was placed on my finger, she became a totally different person. I always thought that she was jealous of me and my FHs relationship - shes only had one long term relationship and she hasn't dated anyone for a few years. She hasnt even gone out with any guys to dinner or a movie...nothing. And every guy that she meets, she thinks he's the one. She's in such a rush to get married before the age of 25, which is next year. My other bridesmaids said they feel like she is trying to plan her wedding through mine...which I never really noticed before until now. She wants my wedding to be the way she wants her wedding to be...and we have completely different ideas of how things should be. I'm going to sit down with her this weekend and try to talk things out...I'll let you guys know how that goes.
As far as her and her dress alterations - She has had problems with the place I picked from day 1. She is a heavier girl, and always has been. But she keeps telling me that she is trying to lose weight for the wedding. My other 3 bridesmaids and I range from a size zero to a four. When we went looking for BM dresses, and we found one that flattered all of them, my bridal consultant needed to take their measurements so she could order them. She did my MOH measurements first, and she took her into another room to do them. I thought it was very nice of her to do that because if that was me and I was overweight and in a room of girls who were all tiny, I wouldn't want the whole world knowing my measurements. Based on her measurements, she was in between sizes, and the seamstress was telling her to order the bigger size and my MOH wanted to order the smaller size. I couldn't believe it because she was NOT losing weight like she said she had been trying to do. We all convinced her that it was easier to make a dress smaller than it would be to make a dress bigger, so she agreed to order the larger size. Then the whole car ride home, we had to listen to her complain about how pissed she was that she was taken into a separate room and how she was made to feel like a big fat cow. I tried telling her that they didn't do that to make her uncomfortable, but she didn't want to hear it.
Now you need to know something about her, she's a size 13/15 and she dresses and thinks shes a size 0. So in her mind, she has the body of a supermodel. Her idea of dieting includes going ou to dinner ordering a bowl of french onion soup, fried shrimp and deep fried donuts for dessert. She has it set in her mind that she's going to lose all this weight, and that's why she got so pissed when they told her that if she needed a second fitting in 6 months, she's have to pay for whatever needed to be done, which in my opinion was going to be making the dress bigger. I think that made complete sense, because it's not the bridal salons fault if you don't lose the weight you were planning on losing and they need to fix your dress. I tried telling her that, but once again she didn't want to hear it. She's just very very opinionated, and she acts as if her opinion is the only one that matters!!! AAAAGGGGHHH!!!
Sorry it's so long, but once I get started I don't want to stop!!!
Generally you are not charged per fitting. But you will usually be charged if you gain or lose enough weight that the seamstress needs to resew the dress. The seamstress has to do the work twice, so she needs to be paid twice. That is why most seamstresses like to do the work as close to the event as possible.
[i]It's funny because before I got engaged, she was the nicest person, and so easy to get along with, and we always talked about how one day we'd be each others MOH... well once that ring was placed on my finger, she became a totally different person.[/i] I had a friend in college just like that. We were best friends until I met my husband and we were engaged (with no ring, couldn't afford one). She just became more and more of a problem with me until finally I point blank asked her what her issue was. And she looked at me and said, "I can't believe you have a boyfriend and I don't. I'm SO much more attractive than you are! What is wrong with men?" Uh, babe. What is wrong with you? Perhaps that lovely personality you just exhibited is the problem? Perhaps? In my case, there was no going back. She allowed her jealousy to ruin our friendship. And that may be your case too. I would talk to her one time, honestly and openly and ask her if she still wants to be in your wedding. If so, she must shape up NOW. No one needs a crappy non-friend like that in their lives at any time, let alone ruining your fun in wedding planning.
Message was edited by cari61 on Dec 6, 2006 2:11 PM