asking her dad

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Guest
asking her dad
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 10:11 AM

hello everyone,

i am looking for help/advice on the best way to ask my future fiance's father to marry his daughter.  phone?  email?  in person?  obviously, it seems like in-person is the best way to go, but how should i go about getting the two of us in the same room with nobody else there.  im pretty sure everyone would get suspicious if i just said "bob, can i speak to you in private for one minute?"

 

any suggestions would be greatly appreciated 

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Guest
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 10:58 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Would it be possible to go out to lunch or coffee with her dad?  If it is a "secret" meeting then no one will be able to get suspicious.  It is best to do it in person.  I know my dad really appreciated my future husband asking although I'm 30 years old & out on my own.  Good for you for doing the "traditional" thing.

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Guest
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Jun 14, 2006 5:59 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

It is definately best to do it in person if at all possible.  My fiance actually used my sister as the middle man.  She basically was the messanger and got my Dad to meet him a a restaurant to ask him.  You can always call him, but if she lives with her parents or is at their home when you call it could be suspicious if you want to keep this secret. You wouldn't wanted to ask him when everyone was around, unless you were in private somehow.  I think it is a nice gesture to ask him somewhere for drinks, lunch, etc.  You never know he may want to talk to you more than just a simple yes and if he has that opportunity then you will probably start out on a better foot with him:)

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Guest
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 2:57 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My fiance asked my parents as well. We live out of state, so he couldn't get time off to drive up and see them without me getting suspicious. He called them and got them both on the phone and said "I love your daughter and I would like to ask her to marry me." They were thrilled! I am the only girl in a family of three boys, so they are really attached. When I called to tell them the good news they were like, "He said he was going to do it Friday!" He had asked a day early cuz the ring was burning a hole in his pocket...but they were still really happy about it.

 I think calling is great if you can't get there. And congrats to you both!

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MrsC Posts : 385 Registered: 4/7/06
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Jun 19, 2006 9:38 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH asked my dad. Smile  FH had to call my dad though.  We live in DFW and my folks are in Houston.  My honey called my dad while they were both on lunch and talked.  FH explained that he couldn't get him alone without suspicion.  Dad understood and now my entire family adores FH for asking first.  I think it's a great idea any way you can do it. Laughing

www.ericandjodi.net

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Guest
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Jul 18, 2006 1:09 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

my FH called my house to see if he could set up a time to meet with my dad, but my mom informed him that dad was on midnights that week (dad works swing shift). my FH wanted to propose that week, so he asked my mom's permission over the phone then asked for my dad's work number (my fh works 50 + hours a week in the summer so he would never be able to meet with my dad that week). he called my dad at work and explained that he was really sorry he couldn't do it in person like he wanted to but he wanted to make sure he asked. my dad said it was unnecessary but appreciated it. I think it was sweet he asked both of my parents. they both appreciated it too.

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Christmasbride06 Posts : 81 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Jul 18, 2006 4:07 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Well I told my FH from the beginning that if he ever wanted to marry me, he'd have to ask my dad. My dad is an old-fashioned man and believes in doing things JUST right! PLUS, I'm his only child let alone his only daughter! My FH took my dad out for coffee and dessert one afternoon while I was in class. He called up my dad and asked if he'd like to go get a bite to eat. They went and he said they had the best conversation and my dad started crying because he was so pleased and he knew we were going to be so happy together! Trust me, dads respect a man that can come to him and ask for his blessing and it should definitely be done in person if it can work out that way.           Good luck!



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BonnieJ Posts : 547 Registered: 7/24/06
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Jul 29, 2006 3:47 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH and I live in Florida and my parents live in Ohio.  My parents were down visiting when he asked my dad.  I was thrilled to find out because I was really hoping that he would be old fashioned like that, but I didn't want to tell him that he needed to do it either.  But he did it completely unprovoked.  He and my dad were out in one of the horse paddocks setting up a round bale feeder in the rain (real romantic setting, right?) when he decided to "get it over with".  lol  My dad said he'd be proud to have him as part of the family.

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Aug 7, 2006 1:45 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Do you have anything in common?  You could ask him while watching a game or something.  Or meet him for lunch somewhere, or make an excuse to stop over his house.  My fh asked my parents during halftime of a WVU game.  My dad immediatly said "no" He wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but my Mom was there to smack my dad and give the ok.  

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Guest
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Sep 8, 2006 3:11 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH took my dad out for coffee.  Granted there are other people in the room but most of them are minding their own affairs.  GOOD LUCK!

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Guest
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Sep 27, 2006 4:06 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH called my mother and almost gave her a heart attack telling her that he wanted to talk to both my parents without me around but wouldn't tell her why. The poor thing! My mom is a natural worrier and having gotten a call like that from my sister's now ex before their relationship exploded for good she was fearing the worst. He unfortunately couldn't get the time off from work so they went to the store he manages and had ice cream sundaes while he asked their permission to marry me. They were thrilled!

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LizS Posts : 1,982 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Sep 28, 2006 11:10 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

What about setting up a time to meet with him at his office?  Then no one else would be around to spoil the big surprise!

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Agum6 Posts : 476 Registered: 8/12/06
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Nov 18, 2006 3:46 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My dad took my FI and I out for dinner one night and while I was in the restroom, Nathan said, "I know this isn't the best time but I want to marry your daughter." I think Dad was probably like, "No, not the best time, I'll talk to you later"  lol. Later that evening we were at my Dad's and he and my stepmom asked Nathan to go outside with them for a minute. I was very suspicious of what was going on. I couldn't figure it out. When Nathan came back I asked what they wanted and he said they wanted to know what I neeeded for my apartment (I was about to move into a new place).  I bought it but I was later told what they really talked about out there. Though I did get stuff for my apartment too! hehe   Maybe what you can do is give him a call and ask to take him to dinner. He'll get the general idea and then you can do it more discreetly. Good luck! =)

                            Ashley & Nathan

                             May 26, 2007

                  

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Shorty Posts : 161 Registered: 9/19/06
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Nov 19, 2006 2:57 PM Go to message in response to: Agum6

My story is actually pretty funny to me.  It was a Wednesday.  I had overslept for work and was having a really rough day.  I was having a really rough day and was supposed to work a 12 hour shift.  However, I found someone to work for me for the last 4 hours so I could just go home at end the terrible day.  I was driving home from work and was on the phone with my mom, venting to her about my day.  While we were on the phone she got another call and said "why is Sentry calling me?"  (This is where FH works)  I said something like "Maybe it is Bill asking if he can marry me"  totally joking.  We hung up and she called me back saying it was a wrong number.  I totally believed her.  So, I finished my conversation and then called FH too let him know I left work early.  He told me he was going to be home late because he had some errands to run.  Again I thought nothiing of it because we were leaving for Mexico that weekend, and I know he still had to pick up our luggage and do some shopping.  Well, as you have probably figured out, he had asked me to marry him that night.  His "errand" was going to my parents house to ask for permission.  All of our friends were in on it too, helping him to find my parents phone number and giving him advice.  What started off as the worst day ever, turned into one of the best days of my life! 

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Guest
Re: asking her dad
Posted: Nov 20, 2006 10:33 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Is there a way to ask to speak to him privately, without anyone else hearing?  Maybe call him up before a visit and say that you would like to speak to him privately during the next visit without their daughter knowing.  Then, he can either say, 'After dinner we'll go for a walk."  Or, he can give you the 'come with me' nod during the visit. If you ask in front of everyone, he might blurt out "Why?"

My FH called my father at work and asked to take him out to lunch.  I think Dad appreciated knowing what was coming so that he could be mentally prepared. Dad had it planned that if FH had said "Can I have her hand?", Dad was going to say, "You will have to take all of her."  Mom and Dad brag about FH asked them for permission.  I am 36.  

 

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