Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...

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mereditor Posts : 16 Registered: 5/5/06
Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 2:42 PM

I'm an editor with Brides.com's new local wedding magazines, and we're looking for stories about the worst wedding toasts you've ever heard to feature in the spring/summer 2007 issue of the magazine. Did the best man reveal too much info about the groom's fraternity days? Was the father of the bride too drunk to speak? Did the groom call the bride by the wrong name? Post your stories here! 

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March32007 Posts : 118 Registered: 5/10/06
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 3:07 PM Go to message in response to: mereditor

At a wedding we attended last summer, the best man started his toast in a kind of melancholie manner.  It seemed to be going no where, and about 10 minutes (yes really that long!) he started to talk about how lucky the groom was for meeting his new wife, because the only women the best man could ever catch an interest in were all psychopaths or lesbians.  It was at this point that the groom gave him the universal "your done" sign of the finger drawn along the neck line.  I think everyone under 30 thought it was hilarious, and everyone over 45 thought it was the worst speech in history!

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Guest
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: March32007

this is the best and worst toast ever!!!!!

 

my cousin said the following at his brothers wedding. his brother, my couisn was 36. he had been living with his parents for the first 34 years and then moved in with his future wife and then got married 2 years later.

 

" and now to toast the 2 happiest people in the room!!!! D_'s mother and father!!!! and i have a letter hear from D_'s grandmother. She is sorry she couldnt make it because she was ill but i want to read this heart felt note from her 'dear D_ and M_, congratulations on your wedding... and i'm so glad your no longer living in sin!!!!!'" 

 

ok, it wasnt very nice, but EVERYONE was in hysterics!!!!!!!!!

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Guest
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 28, 2006 12:56 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

i was married in may.  my best man (my husbands brother) got up to do his speech....at first it started out ok you know the welcome to the family, we love you, we are happy that you found a great women, blah blah blah....but then it turned into this pitty party for the best man...he started talking about how HE got married last year, and how THEY moved to North carolina, how HE misses his firends, how HE is homesick, how HE was glad to see everyone (granted he only knew about 5 people that were at my wedding), he continued on to talk about how HE was so happy to be with HIS wife and how lucky THEY were..and he ended it by saying that HE hopes that we have as good of marriage as HE has with HIS wife.....

yeah....i am still a little bitter about it....this was the man whom i have know for five years. were at his wedding my husband gave the nicest most sweet taost i have ever heard.....and what did we get. a pity party for the best man.....

 

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Guest
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 28, 2006 1:34 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

at my fiance's friend's wedding a few years ago the best man gave an awful speech that everyone still talks about today.

he began with saying that he had known the bride & groom for a long time.  in fact, they were all roommates in college.  he was always amazed at how early the bride would get up to go to work and she would make her bed all nice and neat.  one day, he says, he asked her how come she's up so early even on the weekend.  she said, that's because i'm sleeping in the groom's room.  the best man says he didn't understand so he said "why?"  the bride said "I'm sleeping in there".  so basically in front of all the bride and groom's family and friends he proceeds to tell them how the bride and groom were sleeping together before they were married.  he summed the speech up with how the groom got his nickname of stinky b/c he farted all the time.  needless to say this ended up with another groomsmen elbowing him to shut up, the bride crying, and the groom's father having to talk to him to tell him how inappropriate the speech was.

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LadyBugBride Posts : 533 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 28, 2006 2:04 PM Go to message in response to: mereditor

Not that I'm a control freak or anything (yeah right), but a forwarded this article on wedding speeches to the best man, MOH, and my dad: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8989235/site/newsweek/
They all gave great speeches. I keep a copy in my files in case I am called upon to toast the bride and groom at some point.

Rich and Birgit are getting married . . .
Daisypath Ticker

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Guest
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 28, 2006 7:27 PM Go to message in response to: LadyBugBride

My friends were getting married in a week, and two other friends got engaged the week before their wedding.  They were both in this wedding, and at the wedding, the guy who proposed made a speech, and kept saying "My Fiance Jennifer and I" numerous times, just so everyone would know that they were now engaged.  I thought it was totally rude to try and make their wedding day about his engagement.

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KitKatBar Posts : 983 Registered: 7/23/06
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard..
Posted: Jul 29, 2006 3:05 PM Go to message in response to: mereditor

This was the most mortifying thing I'd ever heard...A dear friend of mine got married about two months ago, the bridal party was sitting at a long table in the front, and the guests were scattered around at seperate tables. The Best Man taps his glass to give the toast and starts with "I've known the groom for fifteen years." And goes on to say what a great meeting it was with the bride. How's he end the speech? He says "I wrote a little poem, about what you can do now that your married...." and it went something like Bang her hard, Bang her fast, Bang her right in the...and he got cut off as one of the GM had to yank him down. The bride started to cry, She tired to leave so she could go to the bathroom and cry, but she couldn't get past the row of chairs, and fell. I had to help haul her to the ladies room. and the groom was so furious the BM was asked to leave.

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Guest
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 30, 2006 8:22 AM Go to message in response to: LadyBugBride

LadyBugBride, thanks for that link!  I just forwarded it to all of my potential speech-makers as well!  Hopefully they'll all get the message!

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gwtwred Posts : 258 Registered: 7/6/06
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Jul 31, 2006 9:46 PM Go to message in response to: LadyBugBride

LadyBugBride, that article is hilarious!  I am definitely forwarding it to the BM!  (I think we're already okay in the MoH department). 

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NatSeptBride Posts : 888 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Aug 1, 2006 10:04 AM Go to message in response to: mereditor

Omg we went to a wedding in January... And the Best Man gave a toast that was absolutely terrible. It must've been ATLEAST 20 mins long, and he wasn't holding the microphone right so all you got were bits and pieces of the speech....  All he kept saying was that he's happy for his best friend, that he's nervous, and that he's so happy to be standing up there for him.. That's it OVER AND OVER AND OVER for 20 mins!  No exageration!!

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BonnieJ Posts : 547 Registered: 7/24/06
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Aug 1, 2006 3:13 PM Go to message in response to: mereditor

My brother's wedding:  The best man's entire toast was "May all of your ups and downs be between the sheets."

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Guest
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard...
Posted: Aug 1, 2006 5:48 PM Go to message in response to: BonnieJ

Oh, this is so much fun.  Note before the story, these are not good friends of ours, but friends via fraternity/sorority.  I am not white trash!!

In the fall 2005, my fiance and I attended a wedding where the bride and groom were each in our fraternal organizations.  They are not real classy people, but it was a great way for alot of our friends to get together.  Anyways, the reception was in a lodge of some sort (Elks, moose?).  Groom had already stunk of alcohol during the recieving line.  During the toasts, Groom's dad wishes to the bride and groom, "I hope your marriage lasts longer than mine did to that lady over there." (referring to groom's mother which lasted 6 months)  Bride's dad makes a toast which is normal.  Then groom grabs microphone begins telling the story of the first time he met bride's dad and how they tried to drink each other under the table.  Then he repeatly stated how awesome his FIL was.  Finally, maybe 2 hours later, the groom was outside puking in the bushes.


http://grantandjen.weddingannouncer.com

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Guest
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard..
Posted: Aug 2, 2006 12:54 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

 

OMG!,  Do they make microphones with remote 'mute' buttons?  So that if someone does one of these speaches, the B&G can hit the button, then say, "Golly gee, the microphone doesn't work.  Let me fiddle with it, then I'll call the next speaker."

 

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AlohaAroha Posts : 686 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Be featured in our magazine: What's the worst toast you've ever heard..
Posted: Aug 2, 2006 3:25 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Eeeek!  We actually (sort of) had one of these at our wedding.  All of my DH's family who couldn't make it to my country sent toasts that the bridesmaids and groomsmen read.  One charming cousin sent a rhyming toast.  Lots of trite couplets ending with:

"Wishing you a night of happiness and joy..

and in a few years, a 'Smith' baby boy!"

At least they didn't say 'months'

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