Hi all. I am new to this site, and I am hoping that it will aid me and my fh in planning the perfect wedding. We got engaged Jan. 10, 2006. We've been together for just over 5 years now.
I am needing some advice. Hopefully someone out there will be able to help me out! The two of us have decided that we want to set our date for next summer. The catch? We are both college students. Next summer will be the summer before our senior year in college. We have discussed our options and feel that it would be in our best interest to get married before we graduate to allow us to settle in financially before we have to worry about paying back loans from college.
Our parents, however, are adamant about us waiting until summer 2008, once we have both graduated. Both of us are living away from home and are financially supporting ourselves currently. We have decided to put together a "presentation" of sorts about our financial situation and why we feel that we would be fine getting married next summer.
What I would like to know, is what exactly we would have to address in our finances. Of course, we've considered insurance and housing, food, the basics. But, I just want to be sure that we have taken everything into account before we make this very important decision final.
Of course, we know that it is ultimately up to us and not our parents, but we definitely want their approval in what we decide. If anyone has any input on this, I would greatly appreciate hearing another's perspective on this situation. Thank you in advance!
Posted: Jun 14, 2006 3:21 PMGo to messagein response to: angelbride
Did you think about who's paying for schooling. Yes you have loans, but what about the books and supplies? What about where the $$ is coming from for fun.
What insurance are you talking about- car? Did you think about health insurance. You both may not be covered under your parents plans if you get married. Then what?
Do you have a plan when you realize that finding a job is not as easy as you think it is? The first loan bill comes in 6 months after you graduate. That's about how long it took me to find a job. Do you have a plan if only one of you can work? Where are you going to live after college. What happens if a baby comes along and you or FH can't finish school. Who's going to handle the finances. Are you going to have jt checking.
Thank you for your reply. These are great points of discussion, and I appreciate you bringing them up for me. We have discussed all of those things. Currently, we are both employed in positions that will continue for us until we have found jobs after college. We both currently make enough to suppport ourselves and pay for our own schooling, books, etc. My fh has the majority of his schooling paid for with scholarships, unfortunately, I don't have as many scholarships, but I do qualify for enough in loans to cover all of my schooling costs. We are fortunate enough to be going to a school that is very inexpensive, only about $5000-6000 per year.
Yes, car insurance is a concern. Currently, we both pay our own car insurance, however, we do fall under our parents plans, and changes in price has been a concern that we have considered. We both have clean driving records, so that should help.
Health insurance is also something that we have discussed. My position offers full health benefits and insurance, and would cover my fh once we are married, as well.
As no exact date has been set yet, we have not hammered out all of the who's paying for what details, but our parents have told us that they will assist us as much as possible. And we are aiming for a small affair. Of course, because our parents are willing to help us out, we want them to be comfortable with our decision. Please don't get me wrong, our parents will support us no matter what we decide, but I know that all concerned will feel better if we can assure them that we have thoroughly concidered everything before making a decision.
Again, thank you for your input, I just want to be sure that we are considering everything, and not rushing into this blindly.
Yes. My fiance is a Marine, and we are thinking to get married once he gets back from deployment, which is Dec. 06. (hopefully). It would benefit us so much to do this because we will both be getting full health benefits and more money. But I have not asked my mom, she has always told me and continuously tells me that marriage after I graduate college which is May of 08'. Or else Ben and I have to pay her back for school. I think she is just saying that to make us not get married so soon. She wants me graduated. I know she will understand, Bens mom says all the time we should, she does not know we have been talking about it, BUT if we do sign papers, we would not want ANYONE to know beside my mom and his mom.
Im wondering why you want to get married so soon, like would you guys benefit from it in any way or is it just to start the whole marriage seen?
Sounds like we are in similar spots. I first want to say that it is good to know that I am not alone in this!
There are multiple reasons that we are wanting to get married sooner. We have been together since high school, 5 1/2 years now. And for at least 2 of them, we have discussed marriage as a possibility. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't just to start living married life. That is definitely a part of it.
For one, we are both extremely religious, so of course the sexual side of things is a factor for us. But also, financially we believe that we would be better off if we are able to have a year to stabilize ourselves. That way we can become comfortable with each other and the roles that we will each play in the marriage (i.e. who handles finances, etc, etc).
I suppose you could say that it runs in my family to be married young. My grandmothers were 16, and my mother was 17 when they were married. My mom's biggest concern is that I won't graduate college, and I'll miss out on the opportunities that she missed out on. She chose my dad over school (I didn't come along for 3 years) and he was in the Air Force, so there wasn't any real "home" for them for quite some time. I suppose that is something that you may have to consider, as well, seeing as Ben is a military man himself.
I would have to say that, for me, the main reason that I want to get married is because I think it is important to have to struggle a little bit as a couple, because that will make us depend on each other for more things, and will allow us to grow much closer. I believe that is what will make our marriage a firm foundation. As I said, we are both very religious, so we don't believe in divorce, we'll marry for life, so I want to have every chance in the world to make it a happy union.
I hope that answers your question. I'd be interested to find out what the two of you decide. Also a question, why would you want to keep it quiet if you do go ahead with it?
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 8:10 AMGo to messagein response to: angelbride
The reason we want to get married is because currently I am out of state and going to school, and If we marry I get instate tuition, the military will pay him more and pay me when he is gone, so finacially it would help, and if we are married and we live together they give him money for not living on base. If we were to get married earlier it would be by paper first. I dont want ppl to know we did that. So I would just want my mom to know about it. And then once we saved up more money and I graduate college, we are going to have a wedding. Its hard because we are both catholic and both want a church wedding. I dont know how it all works out, but I once I talk to my mom we would look into it.