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Patiently waiting.....Any advice!

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Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 5:48 PM

Hi everyone...I am having trouble being patient waiting for my bf to propose!  We have been together for almot 7 years, and are finally moving in together in August...He just graduated law school and is currently looking for a job..I know that once he starts actually making $$ he will start saving up for a ring, but I still am having a hard time being patient...I see so many of my friends getting engaged, and I'm like when will i?? We talk about it all the time, and we've pretty much decided that it will be in the summer of 2008 (I'm a teacher), but I am getting soo anxious...Any suggestion???

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angelbride Posts : 19 Registered: 6/13/06
Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 10:34 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I've been there!  I was with my fh for 5 years before he proposed.  I was like you, we had discussed getting married for awhile, and even had a timeframe.  And after he proposed, do you know what's changed?  Nothing.  Don't get me wrong, I love my ring, and it's great to share our "secret" plans with my friends and family.  But our relationship hasn't changed.  My advice would be to enjoy the experience of just the two of you making plans for your wedding.  Plus, there is the added bonus of not having unsolicited wedding planning advice from friends and family!  If you are both planning to be married, then you may as well be engaged already, it's just a matter of a gorgeous ring to make it public!

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 3:54 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

BELIEVE ME, I know how you feel.  FH & I were together for over 8 years before he proposed.  We had a bumpy ride with fmily illness, etc but I was still starting to get very impatient.  But, I knew he would do it when HE was ready.  And he did.  We were engaged in Feb & we're getting married in September.  I know it's hard but just be patient.

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 5, 2006 5:44 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I had the HARDEST time waiting for my fiance to propose!  I new he was the one pretty quick so I've waited 4 years!  But believe me, if you talk about it all the time, it might turn him off.  We had a lot of problems with me not being able to keep my mouth shut and bothering him about it.  So just keep biding your time and just think of this as an exercise in patience! 

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 5, 2006 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I too had to wait a looong time for my ring (7 years), but when the moment finally came it was magical. I know it's hard to be patient, but trust me when the day finally comes it'll all be worth the wait! Smile

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 5, 2006 11:32 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Haha...this is funny! I am having the same problem! I thought I was the only one!!! Smile  On this July 17th...we have been together for 5yrs...and we are planning on getting married next summer....yet NO RING!!! It's annoying! When I talk about my wedding...ppl are like "oh, your engaged! I didn't know!!!" I'm like...."well....sorta...kinda..." I am just being impatient also. I told him...don't worry about proposing...it's unnecessary....we already agreed we're getting married...let's just go pick out the ring together!!! But no...he seems to think he's gonna surprise me....HOW IS IT A SURPRISE WHEN I KNOW IT'S COMMING? I don't know what he's thinking....but hopefully it will be comming soon....for all of us!!! Wink  So...I guess my only advice is...atleast your not alone in this loooooooooooong wait!!! lol

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 10, 2006 11:27 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I know how you feel! My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 5 years and have long talked about getting married. We have essentially decided that we will get married next summer and we went to look at rings together but the formal proposal has not yet happened. I believe it will happen very soon (fingers crossed!). As some of the other ladies have said, be careful about being too pushy. My bf got upset because I kind of ruined his carefully planned proposal idea with all my questions about when we would get engaged.

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 13, 2006 8:33 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I was going through that myself. My hubby to be was married once before, and it didn't end well, so he was more than a bit skiddish about the possibility of another marriage. So, I just tried to remember that I know he's the one, and I knew he would come around. His two older brothers actually were the ones that finally gave him the shove after 3 years... they told him to hurry up and do it. I think the worst thing I could've done was give him an ultimatum, but I sure did drop a lot of hints! Wink When people would ask when we were getting engaged, I would tell them when the time was right and told them we were happy dating and in a monogamous relationship. Have I rambled? Sorry! And, if it makes you feel any better, all my friends are married with kids!  I am the last of the group, and it's kind of neat like that b/c I am getting awesome advice from friends who have been through the engagement/wedding already.

**Sara Libby**


Message was edited by ChrisandSara on Jul 13, 2006 8:33 PM

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 14, 2006 5:30 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I thought I was the only one!  My fiance and I have been together for 5 1/2 years, and he just proposed to me LAST WEEK.  I bugged him and talked about it, and actually have been calling him my fiance for 3 years now, even though there was no proposal.  When the time is right, he'll do it, but in the meantime, try to be patient.  I know that it's easier said than done, but in the end, it will be worth it.  Who knows, maybe he has something up his sleeve like my fiance did.  He planned the proposal for 7 months and did it on a sailboat at the beach.  Give your sweetie his space, and try not to push too hard.  He'll come around and then you'll forget about how agonizing the wait was.

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 18, 2006 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I have been with my FH for a little over four years, although it is not as long, I was very impatient because I need to make decisions about law school...staying in the same city or going out of state to find schools that offer scholarship.  He knew that if we wouldn't be married by next fall I would look into schools out of state and we would wait three more years till I finished law school till we got married.  I became very anxious at one point, but then I remembered to calm down because good things are worth waiting for. I know it sounds like a cliche but its true.

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 20, 2006 5:42 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Hang in there.  My man and I were together for almost 7 yrs. when he proposed this February!  If he's worth the wait, you'll just have to be patient a little longer.  Trust me, I was impatiently waiting there toward the end.  It'll all work out!  Good luck!

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Jul 22, 2006 12:19 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Hugs!!  It is so hard to wait.  My FH and I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl and let me tell ya the waiting was making me crazy and it hasn't even been 3 years yet.  I tried really hard to not bug him about it but I couldn't help bringing it up every once in a while.  His brother propsed to his girlfriend at our family Christmas last year and it was about all I could do to not start crying right then and there (I waited until we left since I did not want to ruin their moment).  They had only been together for about a year so I couldn't believe that they were getting engaged and married before us!  It was worth waiting for though.  I am giddy with happiness.  There was no super romantic proposal here but we decided yesterday that we are getting married next September.  We are off to buy a ring tomorrow!  Good luck.  I really don't think that talking to him about it just a bit would hurt anyting.  Maybe he is just nervous that he won't meet your expectationsWink

AJ

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Aug 2, 2006 12:39 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Ok I may not have been waiting as long as some of you but I feel your pain in the waiting dept. We have pretty much planned the wedding for April 08....we have looked at rings and picked out the one i want...but now i have to wait for him to get it and surprise me...I think it would be cool when we go to Jamaica next May but i realllllly want it before then.  So good luck to all of those who are waiting for the ring...Laughing

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Aug 3, 2006 4:12 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Oh how nice to have a support group that feels my pain!  I have to say, when I see some of you waited 7 and 8 years, I hope you were together since high school or college.  I dated my college bf for 9 years and we ended up splitting up.  That made me 29.  I will be 36 on September 30 and my FH is 44.  Neither of us have ever been married.  We've been together for 3 years and at our ages, I don't know why we should wait for the next step.  All of my friends are 5 - 8 years younger than I and they are all now married.  I've been a bridesmaid 4 times in the last 5 years!  My FH and I have discussed a December 2007 desitnation wedding, but our discussions are more like battles in which he is weary from the pressure and is just giving in...conquered and defeated.  As bad as I want to get married and to marry him, I don't want it if he feels he only doing it because he must in order to maintain our relationship.  I want him to want it too.  So after our last battle, I've decided to try to lay low on the pressure for a ring.  Hopefully, he'll come around and be ready for the next step.

Our society puts so much pressure on women to be married (as if we don't put enough pressure on ourselves) that it makes us feel like something is wrong with us if we're not.  Yes, it is hard on us ladies, and what else can we do but decide how long we will wait, and...wait.

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Re: Patiently waiting.....Any advice!
Posted: Aug 4, 2006 3:54 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

All of the other posts have very good advice, but I can't believe no one brought up the idea of your proposing to him!  I asked my BF to marry me this past May, we will be together 4 years in October.  Like everyone else we had talked about it on and off, but then i realized that it was going to happen sooner or later, but I'm graduating from college in the Fall of 2007, so I wanted it to happen sooner, so that I could get planning done before school started. 

I'm not saying that you should propose just because you are impatient, but my BF was really surprised and happy that he didn't have the pressure on him.  I got him his wedding band, but you don't even have to get him a ring, you could just present him with a small gift, then go and look for rings together.  I also had another motive, because I wanted to pick out my engagement ring, because I knew I wanted something really different.

Just my thoughts, take it with a grain of sand.

Good Luck!!


Message was edited by Jess709 on Aug 4, 2006 3:57 PM

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