Second thoughts?

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Guest
Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 7:52 AM

I was wondering how many brides-to-be have had second thoughts about walking down the aisle. I was also wondering if anyone had some sort of an agenda to say NO at the alter! Have you ever known anyone to do this? And why do they wait until they are in front of so many people and in their wedding dress to say no? Personally, I havent had any second thoughts yet, but I am sure that it goes through alot of our minds. I thought of this because of a story I read about the Southern Bell who pretended to get kidnapped just before her wedding about 1 year ago. And her father had spent ridiculous amounts of money on her wedding. Needless, to say, I think she got in trouble with the law because of the money the government had spent on the search!

Any wierd stories ladies??

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 9:23 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I don't know why people wait until the last minute.  Perhaps they are trying to convince themselves that it is just nerves and that they will get over it.  And then when it gets to the day of the wedding, they realize that they just can't go through with it.  Or maybe the wedding doesn't seem really real until you are standing at the altar..

Megan 

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 10:16 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

i remember that story, the " runaway bride," they called her. she said later that she'd been having doubts and had shared them with her Fh, but he said " oh, it's just nerves." her wedding guest list was something like 600+, she had 14 bridesmaids, and was just a wreck.

i felt bad for her, feeling trapped like that. but i think it was wrong to scare her family as she did.

Emily and Jon

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 1:23 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Oh yes, her name was Jennifer. So is mine. After telling everyone at work we were finally going to get married, my boss of all people said, " Now we don't want to see our Jennifer on the news!" Not only did she scared family she scared her community, and she had to repay the X amount of dollars that they used on the search for her.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 1:46 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Oh, Jennifer Wilbanks, the pride of Duluth, Georgia!  So much weird stuff happened in metro Atlanta in the first eight months I lived here that my parents started to wonder what sort of mental institution I'd moved to!  There was the Runaway Bride as well as Brian Nichols (the courthouse killer) and Carl Edward Roland, the guy who killed his girlfriend in Florida and then fled to Atlanta and climbed to the top of a crane to hide from the cops.  Great plan, dude.  I think there was another guy who kidnapped a young girl in Florida and fled to Augusta, GA.  After all these incidents, I got to thinking "what in the world am I doing in this crazy city??"  Luckily things have calmed down in the past year; I guess people are finding other places to make the news!

As far as the runaway bride, well, I can see why there was a lot of pressure on her.  She was marrying into a very well-known family in the community (according to my FFIL, who lives in a neighboring town) and was having a large and extravagant wedding.  I can understand why she was freaking out...sometimes you just find yourself in a situation and wonder "How in the world did I get here?"  Luckily this is not the case with my wedding...but I can see how it might have been with her.  In any case, the whole faked kidnapping thing was totally out of line; there was no excuse in scaring her fiance, family, and community like that.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 2:03 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I have no sympathy for the runaway bride, who lied to the police, the GBI, the FBI, and her friends/family. However that Runaway Bobblehead that the local hockey team gave out, I got to sell one of mine for 100.00 on Ebay!

I am also in the Atlanta area, I think that Jennifer Willbanks needed to pay Gwinnett County, the City of Duluth Ga, and every other agency who spent time looking for her on her "kidnapping".

I feel she not only needed to pay the bill for ALL the overtime, but pay a heftier fine than what she got. She also needed to apologize PERSONALLY to the over 5000 volunteers who combed the woods looking for her sorry arse. I also think she needed to spend time in jail. She got off easy mowing lawns for 120 hrs.

No matter how much stress you are under during wedding planning, saying no near the last minute and being honest with yourself, thats nothing to be ashamed of. If you have doubts, trust your instincts, it may save you agony later on.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 2:27 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree with every mswordwiz said.  You are so right. 

What that girl did is inexcusable. I do not feel sorry for her and I think she got off easy. 

No matter how stressful a wedding can be or the serious doubts someone has about marrying their significant other, there is absolutely NO reason to put your family though somthing like that. SHAME ON HER!  

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Did she even marry the guy after it was all said and done?

She did get off to easy, i don't know what else could have been done but she got off way to easy, as for me....

no second thoughts about the Wedding but i was so mad at FH the week he propsed that i swore that even if he did i'd say no. Nothing personal or horrible i was just mad at the joke he was pulling on me saying he'd marry me "when Hell freezes over"... youget my point, little did i know know that he already had my ring and was making sure i wasn't expecting it. but when he bowed dowen and held the ring box with the most beautiful ring in if i couldn't help but say yes! Sure i knew i loved  him and that i've always wanted to spend the rest of my life with him... but i wonder how many girls Do get caught up with the ring and wedding.. and not focus on the marriage.

p.s wouldn't have said no now or ever!

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 5:00 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

One thing to consider on the issue of the runaway bride is that, until the last day, when the FBI picked her up and she told them she was kidnapped, she had not told anyone she was kidnapped or anything like that.  Thus, I do not think she should be liable to reimburse any expenses that incurred prior to her telling the FBI she had been kidnapped.  In fact, she just ran away.  As an adult, legally, she has the right to go anywhere she wants, whenever she wants, without telling anyone ahead of time.  She may have been wrong morally in not telling her parents or her FH where she was going, but just the fact that she ran away and people looked for her doesn't justify charging her with the expense of the search.  Until she did something affirmatively to make people think she was in trouble (i.e., told the FBI she was kidnapped), I don't see how, legally she can be held liable for any expenses incurred in searching for her.  She had the right to go wherever she wanted whenever she wanted and was under no obligation to tell anyone if she didn't want to.  That's one of the basic freedoms any adult has in this country.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 5:05 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

um............I believe she called her FH and TOLD him that she was in fact kidnapped before the FBI picked her up....... and yes she has the right to go whereever she wants, but I think you are stretching it a bit in this particular case.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 5:09 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Well, whenever she told the FH that she had been kidnapped, that is the point at which she should have to pay any expenses incurred after that, because that was the point she committed fraud and people acted in reliance on her fraud.  Any expenses incurred prior to that point, however, would not be appropriate to charge against her, because she had not made any false representation as to her situation, unless we want to establish a precedent that an adult cannot choose to leave her home and go off on her own without informing people of her leaving.  That's not something I feel comfortable with, from the standpoint of personal freedom.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 5:12 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Okay, while I agree people can go where they want to go when they want to and its personal freedom.

How about the way she left? How about her planning to leave the way she left?  She totally made it look like she was taken by someone and not that she left willingly on her own.  You are talking about a lot of resources here that were wasted on someone who went "missing"

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 5:16 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Had she taken off, and said I had changed my mind, not knowing that most of the state of GA was looking for her, I would buy that argument. The moment she lied, she deserved the BILL from the county, and the City of Duluth for manpower Overtime expenses. She got lucky on the feds, and the state investigative unit. She still got off easy. She still has not married whats his name yet. Rumor has it shes killing trees writing a book.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 5:18 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Let's say tomorrow a bride decides she doesn't want to get married, has cold feet, and splits town.  She just leaves.  Doesn't tell anyone anything.  Goes out for a run, starts crying, decides she doesn't want to get married, hops on a bus, and leaves.  FH and her parents panic, get everyone to search for her, and lots of money and time are spent searching for her.  Eventually, cops pick her up.  This girl, however, doesn't lie even then.  She says straight out "I was scared of getting married, so I ran."  Should she be charged with the expenses of a search she never encouraged in any way, shape, or form just because she chose to leave in secret?  Do we feel comfortable with the government requiring us to tell certain persons before we decide to travel somewhere?  That's my only point here.

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Guest
Re: Second thoughts?
Posted: May 1, 2006 5:19 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Thank you mswordwiz. You are so right, again! :)

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