Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)

Online Users: 1,340 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 155
Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 3, 2006 9:38 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

september...

when it comes down to it, and all is said and done...

you won't be able to stop unless you REALLY want to stop.

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 3, 2006 9:53 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Wow...um...I could get really preachy here, but I think all I'll say is that two wrongs don't make a right. Like, if you stole a candy bar. To say, "Well, I've already done it, might as well keep on doing it!" sounds horrible, but it's the same situation here, really. If you believe pre-marital sex is wrong(and I definitely do!), then to keep on doing it is still wrong. It doesn't make a mistake okay by saying you've messed up, might as well keep messing up!

That's my take. Sorry if I made anyone mad!

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 1:44 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

In response to the posts that say "If you're already doing it there's not point in stopping now," I disagree.  There is a point in stopping now.  It's called repentance.  The Lord will wash you clean and make you like new if you ask for forgiveness with the right heart.  Even murderers are saved because they asked for forgiveness with the right heart and truly repent and don't commit the act again.  Now of course we all slip up and you may have sex with him again before the wedding.  But that is the beautiful thing about the Lord.  He will forgive and forgive until he is blue in the face and then he will forgive some more.  Isn't the grace of God wonderful?

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071707 Posts : 313 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 8:52 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I don't mean to be nasty, but isn't having sex and then (because of religious reasons) stopping again just before you get married a tad hypocrytical? I say have sex, enjoy it, God has bigger issues to worry about than who's gettin' it on in the bedroom. 

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 10:18 AM Go to message in response to: 071707

That's the beauty of God's love. He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. (All-powerful, He's everywhere, and All-knowing) As hard as it is to believe, nothing is too small that God doesn't deal with. He sees everything in our lives and in the world, and He cares. And honestly, as a Christian, I don't believe it's hypocritical to stop having sex. We can preach and preach what we believe about not having sex before marriage. And yeah, if we do it, it is hypocritical and we screwed up. But we all do that in some way, whether it's this issue or another. I'll admit it - I screw up all the time, I'm not perfect. I have been a hypocrite is so many ways at so many times. But God forgives. Everything. All we have to do is ask. Like a few of the ladies have mentioned, there's what God calls "second virginity." This is for people who have had sex before and decide that they will cease doing so and save themselves for their wedding night. Is it the same thing as being a pure virgin? No, but it the gift of saving yourself for your wedding night can be just as great to your husband and there's no more added hurts to your heart. Plus, I know a few of you ladies have said "well why not? I'm going to marry him anyway." And I agree with you to a point - I love my FH and I am going to marry him and share my life with him. But you never know. I mean, when we were on Brides.com, one girl posted how her FH took out a HUGE loan that they couldn't afford and then lied to her about it. I don't know if they're still together or trying to work things out, but the possibility is definitely there, that they may not stay together. Or personally, my FH is a firefighter, so his job is very dangerous. I know that there might be a day that he doesn't come home. What if that happens before our wedding day and we've had sex? I have then given away my virginity to someone who won't be my husband. Don't jump on me, please, but at least you can see some pretty good reasoning behind it all.

Now if you were thinking of just waiting to have sex to make your wedding night more intense, it's completely your decision too, but it's not the same thing as what I stated above. Either way, these are your decisions to make alone - no one can make them for you.

I have a friend who is an extremely strong Christian, stronger than I, really, in a lot of ways. Yet she sleeps with her boyfriend. So in that way, she is definitely being hypocritical, and she knows it and openly says that. Her thinking is - "I've messed up so many times, and I know what's right, but I just don't want to deal with the dissappointment. I know I'm going to screw up no matter how many times I try not to, so I might as well just have sex anyway." I love her to death, but she has basically given up before she's even started. It's hard to wait. Extremely hard at times. But I know that the waiting is for a great reason and it will be worth the wait. My body is for my husband alone (whether it's my FH or if circumstances make it someone else) Because I have not slept with anyone else, I have not left pieces of my heart with other men, and for that, I'm giving my FH the greatest gift.

You can agree with me or not, and honestly, it's none of my business what you do unless you choose to share it. i know and understand that most of you probably don't believe in the same things that I do. And that's okay. I promise I won't shove anything down anyone's throat, as long as you let me share what's on my heart. :) I really do love you ladies.

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 10:41 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Gives ffbride a big high five

You are awesome! Great way of putting it! I am so happy to find another bride who believes God created sex to be inside of marriage...I don't think many people believe it anymore.

Finally, someone I can agree with!

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 10:51 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Thanks. :) No, the world is changing, and I find that my views are becoming more and more different than those around me every day. That's okay, though, because it gives me more opportunities to share. Let me know if you ever want to chat and share.

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lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 11:07 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Just my opionion but your friend is not an extremely strong christian if she is doing something that she knows is wrong because it feels good. I was a christian but it is 'christians' like her that make me glad I am no more.

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 11:53 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

By the time we get married, no one is going to care that we lived together and did it on the kitchen table before we got married.

Michele, I'm with Amber.  I'm bringing my own tablecloth when I come over. 


Message was edited by:
kylesbaby

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 12:08 PM Go to message in response to: Guest


kylesbaby wrote:

By the time we get married, no one is going to care that we lived together and did it on the kitchen table before we got married.

Michele, I'm with Amber.  I'm bringing my own tablecloth when I come over. 



Message was edited by:
kylesbaby
Well dont worry coming over to my house...We have a glass table and no sex session is worth glass splinters in your butt!!  I might watch out for the counter though hehehe JK

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 12:39 PM Go to message in response to: lori83

I myself have so many faults that I can't even count! I'm far from perfect. So is she. But she is so smart and strong in other areas. I know that she trusts God as her Lord and Savior. She is a follower of Christ and my sister in the Lord. Is she a hypocrite? Yes. But so am I. And actually, haven't we all been at some point in time? I don't agree with all the things she does. And she knows I don't. And frankly, I don't agree with all the things I do either.

 'Christian' is a term that I really believe is thrown around too loosly. And honestly, I don't know your heart, or hers. Only God does. But I do know her to be a strong woman of faith and character who professes herself to be a follower of Christ. And I, as a woman of faith myself, choose to overlook the shortcomings she may have, as she overlooks mine, and be her friend and fellow sister in Christ. (overlooks as in, I don't disregard them, don't agree with them, and tell her as such and keep her accountable to her actions, yet I don't judge her for them either, and she does the same for me.)

I apologize to you for anything you may have dealt with, since it seems like you have not had a very good experience with Christianity. Just know that all people out there who claim to be Christians aren't necessarily so. And Christianity is more about going to church and "obeying the rules." It's not a religion. It's a relationship with Jesus Christ as one's Savior, Friend, and Lord.


Message was edited by:
ffbride

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 12:45 PM Go to message in response to: Guest


Militarybride wrote:


kylesbaby wrote:

By the time we get married, no one is going to care that we lived together and did it on the kitchen table before we got married.

Michele, I'm with Amber.  I'm bringing my own tablecloth when I come over. 



Message was edited by:
kylesbaby
Well dont worry coming over to my house...We have a glass table and no sex session is worth glass splinters in your butt!!  I might watch out for the counter though hehehe JK

Amber, I'll bring a cutting board to your house.  And if you come to mine, bring a slip cover.

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 1:17 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

this is actually a response to the original post;

this weekend at youth group i was talking to the kids about something similar; lenten commitments. most of the kids had made them. one kid said that since he gave up play station and forgot at his friends house he might as well continue playing it. other kids thought that if you broke your commitment you should ask for forgiveness and try again. others said they would just try harder next year. i gave up nachos, had them one day and havent been able to get back on the wagon since :(

as for the pre marital sex thing their are several ways of looking at it. one is that when you were engaged you may have already committed your self to each other before god. some would aggree with you. espeically those whose religions beleive you talk directly to god yourselves. other religions beleive you must speak to god through a clergy member, therefore your relationship might not be cemented until you say your vows in front of your clergyman. others believe the beginning of your marriage must take place in a church and therefore until the ceremony you are not to be together in that manner. but this is something YOU and your FH (with the help of your clergyperson if your hearts tell you to seek guidance) need to decide for yourselves so that you can make the right decision for you.

but if you both agree that you should abstain until the marriage, do it! of course it will be difficult, but then again so were many of the challenges Jesus faces during his time on earth. thats what we discussed this weekend at youth group. giving up nachos, play station, or intimacy with your FH seems pretty easy and trivial compared to what jesus gave up for us, doesnt it? good luck figuring out the right path for you:)

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 2:57 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree with the women in here who are saying that sex outside of marriage is wrong.  My fiance and I have been together 5 years, had sex for the first 2, but when I came to the beliefs that I now hold, we stopped and haven't had sex in 3 years.  (Even though he doesn't necessarily agree, he respects my faith). 

We even live together now. We're only human, so yes it's difficult, but I know how disappointed I would be in myself if I gave in to temptation.  Also, this makes the wedding night even more special for the both of us. 

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Guest
Re: Sex Questions (sorry, don't know where to put this)
Posted: Apr 4, 2006 5:55 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I am catholic and had to deal with the whole "Sex is baaaad sex is baadd" preaching from first grade through 12th grade.  I remained a virgin until I was 19, and do I regret the "intimate relations" I had with the men I slept with? Not at all. After being preached at for years and years and being told what a terrible sin sex is, I had to see for myself. And MIRACULOUSLY...no lightening struck when I lost my virginity!

I am very open about my past with my Fiance and he is open about his.  We have slept together, but out of respect for my religion (and now his, since he converted) we are abstaining for the last 6 months before the wedding.    I firmly believe TO EACH HIS OWN...let he who is without sin cast the first stone! It's a personal choice if you want to have sex before marriage or not.  You will not go to hell for sharing a personal, beautiful act with someone you care about.  If you make the choice to abstain and then flub up and have sex, shake it off and reaffirm yourself to your choice. WE ARE ONLY HUMAN!

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