- Question:
- I am keeping track of the guest replies, and it's totally out of control! For example, we invited three people, with their names written on the inside envelope, and we got a response of seven attending! How can we deal with these additional guests without offending anyone or throwing our budget completely out of whack?
- Answer:
Inviting an extra guest or two (or four!) to someone else's wedding is nothing less than rude, so don't lose sleep over offending these people. Call up the original invitees and tell them how happy you are that they're coming, but, unfortunately, you just can't accommodate any more than the three people you invited. If they offer to pay for the extra dinners (and many do), hold your ground. Cite maximum occupancy laws or your fears of a too-large wedding cake toppling onto the dance floor. Or, tell the truth: you've invited only your very nearest and dearest and you'd like their help in keeping it to that. If they can't attend without their entourage, they'll have to regret. And at this point, you shouldn't have any regrets of your own.
- How do we seat my divorced in-laws?
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- Should we invite a recently divorced couple?
- Should I invite my fiancé's outcast aunt?
- Must I invite my practical-joker cousin?
- Should we let one couple bring a kid?
- Can I invite dad's parents, but not dad?
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- Should I invite my ex-husband to the wedding?
- Can kids be excluded on the invite?
- Must I invite my bad dad?
- Do I have to invite distant relations?
- Can I exclude my in-laws' pals?
- Do I have to invite my co-workers?
- Should I invite people who can't come?
- Should my in-laws have unlimited invites?
- How can I uninvite a guest?
- Must shower guests get wedding invites?
- Should I invite a jailed relative?
- How can I divvy up the guest list?
- Can I exclude stepparents from my wedding?
- How do we handle uninvited guests?
- Must single guests get a date invite?
- Does dad have to be my aisle escort?
- When must I send thank-you notes?
- How should I handle a forgotten thank-you?
- What should I do about forgotten invites?
- Should we ditch a nervous toast-giver?
- Who should propose a wedding toast?
- How can I seat remarried parents so that everyone feels equally important?
- When should we give our parents their gifts?
- I want a large rehearsal dinner and my fiancé's parents don't. What can I do?
- How do we ask the in-laws to pay for the rehearsal dinner?
Submit Your Own Etiquette Question
Have an etiquette question you'd like our editors to answer?
- I've been snubbed—what do I do?
- Is a small reception, big ceremony OK?
- How can I prevent my cousin from upstaging me at the wedding?
- How can I convince my fiancé's sister to accept me as his wife?
- Can I tell my cousin to stop seeing my married bridesmaid?
- Do I have to invite my cousin's boyfriend?
- How can we prevent our friends from playing a practical joke on our wedding night?
- Should I invite my fiancé's ex-girlfriend?
- How can I get my grandfather to behave at the wedding?
- Do I have to send invitations to everyone I verbally invited to the wedding?
- How can I make sure that my fiancé's mom will be on time?
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- Do I have to call my fiancé's mother "mom"?
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- Should I change my wedding date so that my grandfather can attend?
- Who should initate the get-together between our parents?
- How should we handle complaints about our Friday night wedding?
- Can I ask a friend to help things run smoothly on the wedding day?
- Can I ask my close friend why she RSVPed "No"?
- Do we have to serve food at our wedding rehearsal?
- What do I do about a Facebook wall post about my wedding?
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- How can I avoid fighting with my engaged friend over our wedding plans?
- Do I have to offer my single friends an and guest?
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- How do we let guests know what our Plan B is?
- Should I invite my boss's boss?
- Should we allow my friend to bring her one-month-old to the wedding?
- Should I warn my divorced friend that her ex husband is bringing a date to the wedding?
- Should you mail a wedding gift?













