Family, Friends & Guests Etiquette
- Question:
- How do we un-invite someone who assumes she's coming to our wedding?
- Answer:
No wedding would be complete without one assumed invite. You have a couple of options, depending on when this wanna-be guest decided to invite herself. If you just announced your engagement and haven't made any decisions on budget and guest count yet, warn the assuming friend that your budget will be tight and you might have to opt for a smaller wedding. This way, when the invitations go out and hers is not among the signed, sealed and soon-to-be-delivered, she won't be surprised. If she requested a spot at your gig after hearing about your 300-person celebration, it's a bit trickier. It's hard to tell someone you can't fit one more when you're having a big party. At this point, consider how much this friendship means to you. If you decide to leave her off the guest list, she might feel slighted and it could result in a strained or ended friendship. However, wait until you start receiving your first RSVP cards before you break any news to her. You might get more declines than you expected and decide in the end that you do have an extra spot for her. If that's the case, send out her invite as soon as possible, so that her B-list status won't be apparent.
- This content originally appeared in Modern Bride magazine.
- How do we ask the in-laws to pay for the rehearsal dinner?
- I want a large rehearsal dinner and my fiancé's parents don't. What can I do?
- How can I seat remarried parents so that everyone feels equally important?
- How can we prevent our friends from playing a practical joke on our wedding night?
- Can I tell my cousin to stop seeing my married bridesmaid?
- Should I invite my fiancé's ex-girlfriend?
- How can I get my grandfather to behave at the wedding?
- Do I have to send invitations to everyone I verbally invited to the wedding?
- Can kids be excluded on the invite?
- Which side of the aisle do guests sit on at a same-sex union?
- When should we give our parents their gifts?
- Who should propose a wedding toast?
- Should my in-laws have unlimited invites?
- Can I exclude my in-laws' pals?
- Do I have to invite distant relations?
- Can I exclude stepparents from my wedding?
- How can I uninvite a guest?
- I've been snubbed—what do I do?
- When must I send thank-you notes?
- Can I invite dad's parents, but not dad?
- How do we announce our two weddings?
- Must I invite my practical-joker cousin?
- Should I invite my ex-husband to the wedding?
- Does dad have to be my aisle escort?
- How do we handle uninvited guests?
- Must single guests get a date invite?
- Must shower guests get wedding invites?
- Should I invite a jailed relative?
- Should we invite a recently divorced couple?
- What should I do about forgotten invites?
Submit Your Own Etiquette Question
Have an etiquette question you'd like our editors to answer?
- How do we seat my divorced in-laws?
- Should we ditch a nervous toast-giver?
- Should I invite my fiancé's outcast aunt?
- How can I get his mother to back off?
- How do we let guests know what our Plan B is?
- Should I allow one person to bring a guest?
- Should I plan extra activities for out-of-town guests?
- Is a small reception, big ceremony OK?
- Should we let one couple bring a kid?
- Will we get divorced because our parents did?
- Do I have to call my fiancé's mother "mom"?
- How can I prevent my cousin from upstaging me at the wedding?
- How can I make sure that my fiancé's mom will be on time?
- How can I convince my fiancé's sister to accept me as his wife?
- Do I have to invite my cousin's boyfriend?
- How should I handle guests who RSVP with their kids when children weren't invited?
- How can I divvy up the guest list?
- Should I invite people who can't come?
- How should I handle a forgotten thank-you?
- Do I have to invite my five co-workers?
- Should I change my wedding date so that my grandfather can attend?
- Who should initate the get-together between our parents?
- How should we handle complaints about our Friday night wedding?
- Can I ask a friend to help things run smoothly on the wedding day?
- Must I invite my bad dad?
- Do I have to invite my co-workers?
- Can we ask our guests to give us cash gifts?
- How do you prioritize your wedding guest list?
- Should you mail a wedding gift?
- Should I invite my boss's boss?
- Should we allow my friend to bring her one-month-old to the wedding?
- Should I warn my divorced friend that her ex husband is bringing a date to the wedding?
