- Question:
- What does the wedding party actually do?
- Answer:
The honor attendant is usually a close friend or family member who not only organizes and hosts a shower for the bride, but also helps her get ready on the wedding day. She wears a dress that she usually pays for, which matches or coordinates with the other bridesmaids, and she sometimes carries a slightly more elaborate bouquet than the other attendants.
The bridesmaids are select friends and family, who are usually about the same age of the bride. They attend pre-wedding parties and also help out in anyway the bride requests. If she needs anything from picking up candleabras, to setting out place cards—these are the girls to ask. They wear matching or coordinating dresses (usually paid for themselves) to the ceremony and are customarily given a gift by the bride as a token of appreciation.
The best man is often the groom's best friend or a close family member. His formalwear matches the ushers' and he pays the rental fees himself. He hosts the bachelor party, holds the ring during the ceremony and leads the other men in the well-wishing.
Ushers are also close in age to the groom. They are usually chosen by the groom, and their primary function is seating guests at the wedding. They each wear and pay for matching formalwear, and the groom usually gives each man a present as a thank-you for participating in the wedding. These guys should also be on hand to help the groom with any errands he needs throughout the day, such as picking up guests from the airport or driving them from the ceremony to the reception site.
Children between the ages of 9 and 14 are best suited for the duties of candlelighters, junior bridesmaids or junior ushers. These attendants wear coordinating dresses or formalwear. Flower girls are usually family members, or a friend's child between the ages of three and nine, and they carry a small bouquet or basket down the aisle in the ceremony. The ring bearer is often a boy, but the duty can certainly be carried out by a little girl as well. Boys under age four wear an Eton suit or may be dressed in a similar fashion to the ushers. Parents pay for their children's attire when asked to be in a wedding, unless otherwise notified by the bride or groom.
- Can I ask my bridesmaids to match makeup?
- Are there age limitations for ring bearers and flower girls?
- Do I include the tip in my bridesmaids' spa gifts?
- How can I work an extra friend into my wedding?
- How can I include my three-year-old niece in our wedding?
- Can I ask a bridesmaid to quit the party?
- Can I not have any bridesmaids?
- Must I get a hotel for out-of-town attendants?
- What does the wedding party actually do?
- Must my guy's pal be a bridesmaid?
- How do I deal with flower-girl pressure?
- How old should a flower girl be?
- How can I pick just four bridesmaids?
- Should I ditch my faraway maid?
- Can a guy be a bridesmaid?
- Can my wedding party be lopsided?
- How should I tell my friend she's not a bridesmaid?
- Can I have two maids of honor?
- Can I have a flower girl at an adults-only wedding?
- How can I handle a pregnant bridesmaid?
- Must my fiancé’s sisters be bridesmaids?
- Must my sis be my honor attendant?
- Can I stop my stepdaughter from stealing my spotlight?
- Where should the wedding party sit?
- To whom must we give thank-you gifts?
- How can we ensure that the ring bearer behaves during the ceremony?
Submit Your Own Etiquette Question
Have an etiquette question you'd like our editors to answer?
- How should my fiancé select a best man?
- Can I ask a groomsman to remove his facial piercings during the ceremony?
- Do we have to buy gifts for the groomsmen?
- Should the best man hold a boys' outing on the day of the wedding?
- Must I include my old friend in the bridal party?
- Does the best man have to give a toast?
- Is alcohol a good gift for the groomsmen?
- How do I handle a critical bridesmaid?
- Can my mom be my maid of honor?
- How can I convince my niece to be a junior bridesmaid?
- Can my son be the ring bearer?
- Can I ask my bridesmaids to cover their tattoos?
- How can I include my 12-year-old brother in the wedding party?
- Who's supposed to keep the groomsmen informed about appointments?
- Should I tell my fiancé about my past relationship with his groomsman?
- Can I ask my bridesmaid not to change out of her dress after the ceremony?
- What should I do if one of my bridesmaids loses her job?
- What should we do if one of the attendants backs out right before the wedding?
- Am I required to ask my groom's sister to be my bridesmaid?
- Can I nix an overweight bridesmaid?
- Is seven bridesmaids too many?
- How can I convince my bridesmaids to budget for their expenses?
- Can a bride ask her bridesmaids to alter their appearance?
- Is the maid-of-honor expected to give a toast?
- Should I bend my no dates rule for my single bridesmaid?
- When are you supposed to ask people to be attendants?
- What should I do about a disinterested bridesmaid?
- Do I have to accept an invitation to be a bridesmaid?
- What are the duties of a man-of-honor?













