Bridal Party Etiquette
- Question:
- It was so hard to decide on my bridesmaids—I had to cut out all but my two best friends, since I have so many sisters and future sisters-in-law in the party. Another very close friend has been angling for a spot. How do I tell her she didn't make it?
- Answer:
Avoiding the topic until she gets the hint may seem like the easiest, least-painful way to do things—but we know from experience it can breed long-lasting resentment. We suggest breaking the bad news to her gently and quickly. Take her out for coffee and be honest about your situation—your family and his took up so many spots in the wedding party that you couldn't ask everyone you wanted. Let her know that she's still one of your closest friends, and as such, you've got another special role all lined up for her—whether it's doing a reading or handing out programs to your guests.
- Can I ask my bridesmaids to match makeup?
- Are there age limitations for ring bearers and flower girls?
- Do I include the tip in my bridesmaids' spa gifts?
- How can I work an extra friend into my wedding?
- How can I include my three-year-old niece in our wedding?
- Can I ask a bridesmaid to quit the party?
- Can I not have any bridesmaids?
- Must I get a hotel for out-of-town attendants?
- What does the wedding party actually do?
- Must my guy's pal be a bridesmaid?
- How do I deal with flower-girl pressure?
- How old should a flower girl be?
- How can I pick just four bridesmaids?
- Should I ditch my faraway maid?
- Can a guy be a bridesmaid?
- Can my wedding party be lopsided?
- How should I tell my friend she's not a bridesmaid?
- Can I have two maids of honor?
- Can I have a flower girl at an adults-only wedding?
- How can I handle a pregnant bridesmaid?
- Must my fiancé’s sisters be bridesmaids?
- Must my sis be my honor attendant?
- Can I stop my stepdaughter from stealing my spotlight?
- Where should the wedding party sit?
- To whom must we give thank-you gifts?
- How can we ensure that the ring bearer behaves during the ceremony?
Submit Your Own Etiquette Question
Have an etiquette question you'd like our editors to answer?
- How should my fiancé select a best man?
- Can I ask a groomsman to remove his facial piercings during the ceremony?
- Do we have to buy gifts for the groomsmen?
- Should the best man hold a boys' outing on the day of the wedding?
- Must I include my old friend in the bridal party?
- Does the best man have to give a toast?
- Is alcohol a good gift for the groomsmen?
- How do I handle a critical bridesmaid?
- Can my mom be my maid of honor?
- How can I convince my niece to be a junior bridesmaid?
- Can my son be the ring bearer?
- Can I ask my bridesmaids to cover their tattoos?
- How can I include my 12-year-old brother in the wedding party?
- Who's supposed to keep the groomsmen informed about appointments?
- Should I tell my fiancé about my past relationship with his groomsman?
- Can I ask my bridesmaid not to change out of her dress after the ceremony?
- What should I do if one of my bridesmaids loses her job?
- What should we do if one of the attendants backs out right before the wedding?
- Am I required to ask my groom's sister to be my bridesmaid?
- Can I nix an overweight bridesmaid?
- Is seven bridesmaids too many?
- How can I convince my bridesmaids to budget for their expenses?
- Can a bride ask her bridesmaids to alter their appearance?
- Is the maid-of-honor expected to give a toast?
- Should I bend my no dates rule for my single bridesmaid?
- When are you supposed to ask people to be attendants?
- What should I do about a disinterested bridesmaid?
- Do I have to accept an invitation to be a bridesmaid?
- What are the duties of a man-of-honor?
