In a previous article on Brides.com, I described ways you can get your fiancé involved in wedding planning, without even really trying. One of the key takeaways from that article was to define for your fiancé all of the things that he should do in order to be an effective wedding co-host with you. You’ll want to do this long before your wedding. And while your wedding may be unique - be it a destination wedding or featuring a non-traditional wedding reception - there are certain elements that are true to every type of wedding.
First, you should expect your fiancé to have some pre-conceived notions that the wedding is your big day, and that you’re going to plan the whole event. You and I both know that this notion is wrong. The wedding (and marriage) is a major life event and rite of passage for men. There are as many duties for your fiancé as there are duties for you. You should not expect your fiancé to get excited about the types of wedding flowers that might decorate the tables or how wonderful the wedding invitations will look. However, you should expect your fiancé to:
- Plan and host a rehearsal dinner
- Organize the best man and groomsmen
- Have an opinion as to what he wants to wear to his wedding
- Plan much of the honeymoon (if you want him to)
- Add items to the wedding registry and participate fully in that process
- Happily attend marriage preparation classes (it’s a good idea)
- Obtain a marriage license
- Participate in the creation of the guest list
- Write his own vows (if that’s the plan)
- Make a wedding speech
- Be a good host
- Smile throughout
This list is not exhaustive, of course. It also doesn't mean that your fiancé, alone, can be expected to pick the style of wedding tuxedo and color of the bow ties (nor would you want him to), but it does mean that your fiancé will not assume that "you have the wedding planning under control." For example, while I'm sure you could do a great job of making sure the groomsmen know what is required of them, and when, these men are your trusty fiancé's friends or family, and he should be in charge of them.
In the spirit of making things easy for your fiancé, the guys at GroomGroove.com put together a list of groom duties that includes the list above, as well as the other duties that will be required of him. (Send your fiancé so that it’s spelled out for him!) —Michael Arnot, Fouder, Groom Groove
