Photo by James Merrell/BRIDES
When it comes to your man, you always want the approval of your gal pals. So how do you know if they like him? Here are five signs they don't.
1. They immediately change the subject or abruptly stop talking whenever you mention him.
2. They needle you with passive-aggressive questions, like "You're finally going to be joining the girls this weekend? Is Steve really okay with that?"
3. They purposely exclude him from conversations by cracking inside jokes or discussing people he doesn't know.
4. They make plans to see you only when they're sure he's out of town or won't be available.
5. When he answers the phone, they quickly hang up, then call you on your cell.
What's a bride to do?
Figure out if the friend is actually the problem
If one friend is unhappy, look at your history together. Has she hated all your boyfriends? Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and she may be mourning the loss of your exclusive partnership. Give her time to make the transition and to accept your relationship with your fiancé. Also, be sure to let her know her friendship is extremely important to you. Just hearing that she hasn't been replaced in your life can work wonders.
Don't ignore the power of numbers
When an entire group of friends doesn't care for your guy, there may be a legitimate reason. Does he have a problem with alcohol or drugs? Is he physically or emotionally abusive? If so, you have to take serious stock of the situation. On the other hand, sometimes a group reacts strongly just because you're breaking up the club. If you think that's the case, talk to members of your crew individually, and try to be sensitive to their feelings.
Stand by your man
One of the best ways to mollify concerned friends is to calmly explain why you've chosen to marry this particular person. It's crucial to clarify his attributes for them. Once you've had these discussions, expect support--but be willing to forge ahead without it.
Pave the way
Avoid the tendency to make things easy by keeping your friends and your fiancé apart—distance will only perpetuate the problem. Bring them together in small social gatherings, and allow them to get to know one another on their own terms. However, be prepared for the chance that they'll never like each other. Some personalities just don't mix, and learning to deal with that is a part of life.
—Hillary Quinn, BRIDES magazine