Brides DailyThe Groom Speaks

THE GROOM SPEAKS: Men and Their Mothers

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Courtesy of Josh Brentan

There is only one person who could possibly be more opinionated about your wedding than you and your mother: his mother. Regardless of her personality, keeping her happy requires a deft touch, and you can't always rely on your groom to provide it. Here are some ideas for dealing with different types of moms...and mama's boys:

The Overbearing Mother: The only time she'll be satisfied is when she gets her way. Assign her a project and let her run with it (within agreed-upon parameters). She gets her way, and you get her out of your hair. Do not expect the groom to be your buffer—if she's been overbearing his whole life, chances are he'll be defenseless against her.

The Particular Mother: She will defer to you on most things but will dig in her heels when she's got an opinion—all fine and dandy, if you agree. But if she insists that a band is the only way to have music at the reception and you have your heart set on a DJ, it's time to weigh the consequences. Will your relationship with her be forever icy if you go against her wishes? Will it break your heart to concede? Whatever you do, you and your groom should present a united front, with thoughtful reasons why you're sticking to your plans.

The Passive-Aggressive Mother: She hates the color palette but won't tell you to your face. She will, however, complain incessantly about how the lilac dress makes her skin look washed out. Your job is to kill her with kindness. Tell her how beautiful she'll look, and invite her to go with you to try on makeup. Leave it to your groom to set her straight—he's been dealing with this behavior for years and, if he's any kind of man at all, should be able to handle it.

The Overly Enthusiastic Mother: She can't believe her baby is getting married! But she doesn't think her son tells her anything, so she'll inevitably turn to you for information. In order to avoid the regular phone calls, write her a quick e-mail once a week letting her know what you're up to—the more links and pictures, the better. And tell your groom to call her more often. If your sanity is at risk, his is, too. He'll play along.

The "It's Your Day" Mother: Whatever you want is fine with her. This is like winning the lottery—take a moment and say a prayer of thanks.

—Josh Brentan, The Groom With A View

Check back every week as BRIDES magazine and our groom-to-be offer a peek into what the bride's other half really thinks about all the wedding hubbub. So far, he's written about what men really think about their fiancees' diets, wedding traditions, and sexual histories. Oh my!

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