Brides DailyThe Groom Speaks

THE GROOM SPEAKS: Getting the Most Out of Your Man

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Courtesy of Josh Brentan

Wedding planning is hard work, and you shouldn't have to go it alone. Problem is, getting us involved can be as hard as getting us to commit in the first place. But we came around then, and we will this time, too—we just need encouragement. Here are a few ideas that might help:

Don't Rush Us - Planning a wedding is like drinking—if you've never done it before, there's only so much you can handle before your head starts spinning. And in this case, our tolerance is probably much lower than yours, so please, be gentle.

Create a Captive Audience - You may feel like the only way we'll ever listen is if you tie us to a chair and force us into submission; we'll just think you're getting kinky. Instead, give us fair warning of what's on your mind, and plan to discuss it over dinner. As long as there's food in front of us, we're not going anywhere.

Leave Your Mom at Home - You're much more likely to get us out for a day of appointments if we know it's just going to be the two of us, because as much as we like your mother (ahem), we worry she's going to make things complicated. If your mom has strong opinions, ask her for advice beforehand and tell her you'll call her later. She'll appreciate the courtesy, and so will we.

Give Us an Assignment - Tasks within our area of expertise are most likely to be tackled. And if we can handle it from the comfort of our desks, consider it done. Still, you should definitely give us a deadline, and you may want to give us a friendly reminder as well. Erica asked me two weeks ago to coordinate the transportation and, well...

Fake a Breakdown - If you've cajoled, needled, badgered, and bribed and you're still not getting any help, there's one more option: tears. They're not pretty, but they work. Tell him you're overwhelmed. Tell him you can't handle the load. Heave a sob if you have to...actually, you know what? Forget it. If he's not helping by now, just dump him.

—Josh Brentan, The Groom With A View

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