Photo: Matt Blum Photography
Sometimes you really need your mom, and other times moms just need to feel needed. Weddings are one of those times when you'll either be begging her for her help or she'll be constantly pestering you about what she can do to help (typical mom, right?). Whether you're a total control freak or a really laid-back bride though, here's how to get mom involved in the wedding planning process without sacrificing your wants and desires.
1. Fill her in on everything
You don't necessarily need to have her attend your search for a wedding dress or your reception menu tasting, but just communicating with your mom and allowing her to feel as though she is a part of your life goes a long way to make her feel needed, points out Greg Jenkins, founder of Bravo Productions.
2. Ask for help with tasks that don't require opinions
Like addressing, stuffing and stamping envelopes or assembling favors, says Chancey Charm Charlotte wedding planner Miranda Tassi. "This gives you the opportunity to spend time together, but if you're a more controlling bride, doesn't allow for opinions to get into the middle of your quality time."
3. Play to her strengths
What does mom do best? If it's baking, have her make homemade cookie favors, suggests wedding planner Aviva Samuels of Kiss The Planner. Is she Mrs. Organized? "Ask her to help you prioritize the tasks that lie ahead of you. If caregiving is her thing, ask her to pack the emergency kit with every kind of health and beauty aid she can get think of so that when shoe inserts, headache medicine, body tape or tissues are in demand, she can feel needed all throughout the day."
4. Have her track RSVPs or assemble welcome bags
A simple thing to have mom do is to track your wedding RSVPs. By rule, if your parents are doing the inviting, the RSVPs should go to her anyway, tells Tracie Domino, founder of Tracie Domino Events. "You can also have her help you with selecting items and assembling your hotel welcome bags. She might even want to get a group of her friends together to do this one night and then just check that off the list."
5. Ask for her input on final design decisions
Narrow down some of your favorite ideas from your wedding day design and then let her help you decide, recommends Francesca DiSalvo-Follmer, owner of Pure Luxe Bride. "It'll be nice to have her feel as if she's a part of it, and you know you've already narrowed it down to some fabulous choices you love." Basically, it's a win-win for everyone.
6. Ask for emotional support
So what if your mom doesn't have the DIY skills to help you plan your wedding? She may be able to play the 'therapist' role you need to vent to and open up with your thoughts and concerns, notes Jenkins. "Many mothers can just appreciate they're loved and will happily continue to be there for you throughout the planning process."