Our Wedding Has Passed and a Guest Never Got Us a Gift. What Should We Do?

Etiquette, Favors & Gifts
Wedding Party Gifts

Photo: Readyluck

No one wants to seem like they're begging for gifts when they get married, but that doesn't mean having an opportunity to stock (or upgrade!) your home isn't welcome. And etiquette does state that accepting an invitation to a wedding is a nearly-contractual agreement to send a gift in return. So what happens if your wedding date has come and gone, and there are guests you haven't received gifts from? Here's how our experts recommend handling it.

Tradition states that guests have up to a year to send a wedding gift, but etiquette experts agree that wedding gifts should really be sent within a few months of the wedding date, after which they cease to really be gifts for the wedding. So, first things first, wait a month or two before taking any action, because technically the guests in question have some time!

Before you start calling people and asking where your gift is (which would definitely make you look greedy instead of grateful), ask your parents or a mutual friend to subtly do a little digging. Whether it's having your mom excitedly let them know about your new address or a friend bringing it up in the context of the next wedding you're all attending together, this could either be good encouragement for the guest to arrange to have something sent to you, or for the guest to comment on the fact that they haven't received a thank you note — which hopefully will inspire them to ask you if you got their gift so the two of you can figure out what happened to it.

If you never hear anything and more than a few months have passed, you'll unfortunately have to write this off as a loss, as you don't have much recourse here. After all, they did take the time and spend the money to come to your wedding, even if they did come empty-handed. Do your best to forgive and forget, send them a thank you note thanking them for their presence on your big day, and remember that their friendship is more valuable than a picture frame or some new dishes.

See more: Can We Open and Use the Gifts We Receive Before Our Wedding?

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