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Picking a bridal party is something that takes careful planning, deduction, and thought. So after all of the decision-making you do pre-wedding when it comes to your best girls, it would be tragic to have one of your 'maids drop out of your bridal party, or worse, having to ask one of your bridesmaids to "step down." But, after the fall out, the unimaginable happens: your bridesmaid asks for a refund. What should you do?
Whether the reason for this falling out is due to a friendship that's been on the rocks for a while — or because you're dealing with a friend who is just not showing her supportive side to you during a time when you need it the most, having a bridesmaid leave her role pre-wedding is something that isn't out of the norm. But unfortunately, this awkward (usually one-sided) conversation ending your bridal party unity can continue on a downward spiral with the request for a refund. If this does happen, here's how to handle it.
If your ex-bridesmaid does ask you for a refund, it can get tricky. They may want you pay them back for the bridesmaid dress they ordered — or even some of the money they spent on your bachelorette party and bridal shower. When this request comes your way, you will wonder if you should dig into your wallet or worse — your wedding budget — to return the money they spent.
Before you respond about her request, first consider the core reason behind her removal from the bridal party. If it was purely your bridesmaid's decision, then you don't owe a refund. If you had to ask her to leave your bridal party because of her unruly behavior or lack of support, you may want to cover the costs that she incurred — or at least offer to give her back money for the dress.
Ultimately, it is up to you if you want to return the money and more importantly, salvage the friendship. But both of those things shouldn't be decided upon or discussed during your wedding planning process. You'll be under enough stress and to-do list tasks — and the emotional stress may be too much to bear. Once you've made your decision or accepted your ex-maid's decision, it's best to ignore the drama until you've come back from the honeymoon fresh, rejuvenated, and ready to handle the situation.
Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.