I'm Making a Speech at My Friend's Wedding. What Should I NOT Include?

Etiquette, Planning Tips

Being asked to make a toast at a wedding is a huge honor. Out of everyone in attendance, they're asking you to say a few words to kick off their marriage on a sweet note. And while years of friendship probably means you have all sorts of anecdotes and memories to share, some are perfect fodder for a wedding toast while others are better left unsaid. When it comes to writing your wedding speech, what should you make sure not to include? Here's what our experts have to say.

The first thing to remove from your list of potential toast topics is anything that would make your grandmother uncomfortable. A passing reference to your crazy nights in college is one thing, but anything related to using controlled substances, sex, or doing something illegal or particularly questionable should be avoided. You should also skip any references to your friend's ex. Keep the stories PG (PG-13 at the very most) to make sure the toast is crowd-pleasing.

You should also avoid complicated inside jokes or stories that don't make sense without a drawn-out backstory. If it would take longer than your allotted 3-5 minutes to just explain where the story came from, you'll end up with a long and meandering speech that guests won't follow at all.

Planning to tell a joke or use a quote to start or end your speech? Think about your audience first. Just because the two of you think it's a hilarious one-liner doesn't mean it's appropriate for mixed company.

And of course, if you don't approve of your friend's new spouse, bring that up in private, NOT during your toast. You're not required to sing anyone's praises, but do your best to find something positive to say — or don't say anything at all. A simple "congratulations" will suffice.

See more: Taylor Swift's Maid-of-Honor Speech is Everything

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