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There's a saying that the devil is in the details. And when it comes to wedding planning fights, that saying couldn't be more true. "While you may argue about the big things, like the budget or venue, you're likely going to bicker most often about the little things," warns Amy Nichols, owner of Amy Nichols Special Events and co-founder of The Poppy Group. "Recognizing early that even the small things require cooperation and consideration will help the wedding planning process flow much more easily."
With that in mind, here are five little things that can lead to big wedding fights, and how to solve — or better yet, avoid — each one.
1. Your partner's attire.
We know what the bride wears on the big day is a big deal. But you may find yourself bickering if your partner wants to pair a tuxedo with his Chuck Taylor's. "Brides and grooms often argue over the look and style that is expected of them on the wedding day," says Nichols. "Staying as true to the actual likeness of the couple in everyday life is always the best bet. But arguing happens when couples can't agree on what that is exactly."
2. Your invitation wording.
You may have never imagined you'd have war or words with your significant other over your invitation wording. But, as Two Little Birds Planning owner Jaclyn Fisher explains, the order in which you list your parents on this piece of paper can be a touchy subject, especially if one set is footing the bill for your big day. Don't let wording lead to a disagreement between you by choosing a neutral invitation phase, such as, "along with their parents," Fisher suggests.
3. The cost of a small item.
When you've already booked and paid for the big things, it can be easy to overlook that little costs can quickly add up. "Favors cost how much? It's not uncommon for one partner to begin calculating the small things and begin getting frustrated by the total," says Nichols. "This finds you arguing about whether the mercury glass candle holder is worth the extra $2." Sidestep this argument by building even the smallest items into your initial budget, and being open about your spending as you plan.
4. The bachelor or bachelorette party.
Whether driven by finances for a costly out-of-town celebration or concern your partner will cross the line, couple's often fight over these particular parties, says Fisher. "Avoid arguments by discussing your feelings, possible scenarios, and how you would both handle them if they arise," she suggests, adding it's best to host the parties far before the wedding, which will give everyone time to recover and recoup.
5. Your wedding flowers.
It's tough to imagine bickering over something so beautiful. But when you ask your beau to choose between English garden or American beauty roses and get a non-committal answer, an argument can soon blossom. "It's not the actual flowers causing the fight," says Fisher. "It's the groom's lack of involvement or opinion." So, be sure to clearly communicate to your partner how much you value and need his opinion. Or, "if it's already an issue, don't let it escalate," encourages Fisher. "Let him know that you want him involved so the wedding reflects both of you."