Does My Fiancé Have to Know About All My Exes Before We Get Married?

telling fiance about exes

Photo: Getty Images

About to walk down the aisle and wrap your arms around that your soulmate for the rest of your life? Well by this point, with the wedding date set, you probably think you know every single thing about your fiancé, and vice versa. Things like their favorite dinner dish, the color they like to wear that brings out their eyes, how they secretly roll their eyes at their boss when he's not looking. You may know every pet peeve they have, hobby they hope to tackle and take on in the near future, and childhood secret that they kept close to them and haven't told anybody else in the world.

But one thing you may not have shared with one another are the dirty details about past relationships. How many exes each of you had, how those love connections ended and, of course, why they ended. You may even want to see a photo of your significant other's former significant other, or try to find out their last name so you can do a quick, and quite extensive, Google and social media search.

So is this something you two need to share before entering a life together of happy matrimony? Well, if you've made it this far without knowing those details, you may want to steer clear of unleashing unnecessary pre-martial jealously or upset. It's okay to sit down and give each other a vague timeline of previous failed relationships, but names and photos don't really need to be shared.

Ask each other if both of you want to walk down this road of sharing together, or if it's better that the past is just the past. Either way, don't feel the need to disclose all the info info in order to get an official green light to walk down the aisle and tie the knot. Just make sure you stress the fact (to both your fiancé AND yourself) that the ex is out of your life and you'll never invite them back in — because what's done, is done.

See More:The Case of the Ex: Is It Weird to Invite a Former Boyfriend's Family to Your Wedding?

Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.

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