8 Ways to Be the Best Bridesmaid Ever, According to Seasoned Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids, Etiquette
Wedding Planning Lessons From Movies My Best Friend's Wedding

Photo: Tri Star/Courtesy Neal Peters Collection

Turns out, being a good bridesmaid is more than just showing up to a shower or two and looking pretty standing next to the bride when she says her "I dos." It's about getting along with the rest of the group and keeping the bride as stress-free and as happy as possible, all the while maintaining your own sanity and serenity in the process. If it sounds like a lot to handle, and it can be, but you got this, girl! With a little planning and preparation and sound advice from some seasoned vets, you'll be bridesmaid-ing like it's your job because, well, it is!


Be upfront from the get-go
"If you have concerns about affording things like the dress, airfare, etc., let the bride know right away. Have an honest discussion before committing to be in the wedding in order to avoid any resentment on both ends later on." — Kathleen


Order the dress ASAP
"It may not seem like a big deal to you, but waiting until the last minute to order your bridesmaid dress gives the bride just one more thing to stress about, and in my experience, she already has enough of that! So make her life a little bit easier and don't be that bridesmaid that she has to email five different times to check in on the status of your dress order. Just do it the first time she asks and send her updates!" — Layla

bride wars

Set aside more cash than you think you'll need
"Even on a low budget wedding with a bachelorette party that's in town, it's easy to drop upward of $1000 being a bridesmaid. My advice to other girls would be to always set aside a few hundred more dollars than you think you'll need. Better to be safe than sorry!" — Martha


Don't wear your highest heels
"Unlike guests, you're going to be standing and on your feet most of the day, starting way before the ceremony begins so I'd recommend getting comfortable shoes with a low heel. Oh, and if they're new, definitely break them in first!" — Amanda


Be a peacemaker
"There's always that one bridesmaid who makes everything so much harder than it has to be. She hates the dress, complains about the bachelorette party destination, is never on time, etc. As a bridesmaid, it's your job to keep the peace no matter how awful she is. Take control and do your best to resolve any situations that arise without the bride having to get involved. If the bride needs to vent, listen and empathize but be careful not to bash her friend." — Melissa

See More: Save That Money! 6 Wedding Budget Hacks That Helped Real Brides Save Big


Suck it up and smile
"There will be times when you're exhausted and you really don't want to go help the bride choose her veil, for example, but if it's not too much of an inconvenience, just do it. She'll be so appreciative to have a second opinion. This advice goes for other things too, like the bridesmaid dress...suck it up and smile even if it's not your style and you know you'll never actually wear it again." — Sharon


Be budget-friendly to others
"If the bride puts you in charge of planning her bachelorette party or hosting the shower, don't just assume everyone can contribute x amount. Ask for budgets privately so as not to make anyone feel awkward/uncomfortable." — Rebecca

16 candles

Don't let the bride walk all over you
"Yes, you are a bridesmaid but if the bride starts making crazy demands and treating you and the other girls like crap, the sooner you speak up, respectfully of course, the easier things will be in the long run." — Alyssa

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