How to Politely Remind People to RSVP for Your Wedding

Etiquette, Invites & Stationery
how to politely remind people to rsvp

Photo: Courtesy Lucky Luxe

RSVPs are useful for so many reasons. Yes, they let you know which of your guests will and won't be attending your wedding, but RSVP cards also help give a meal count to your vendors, enable you to create table assignments, and can even tell you where guests are staying and which peripheral wedding events they'll be attending. Which means not receiving all your RSVP cards can cause a huge headache! Here's how our experts recommend you politely remind guests to RSVP and get them to stick that card in the mail.

When you're following up with guests on their RSVPs for your wedding, timing is key. If your RSVP deadline is August 3rd, don't start making phone calls on August 4th. Chances are a lot of cards went into the mail right as the deadline hit, so allow three or four days (or a week if you can spare it!) for the post office to pick up the cards and deliver them to you.

Once you've accounted for a little extra time, get on the phone. Sure, texting is easier (and might be the best way to get a response from the guests who are your age), but when it comes to etiquette and formality, a phone call is the way to go. Be super polite — chances are your guests have no idea they missed the deadline! — and simply say "We are really hoping you'll be able to join us, have you had a chance to look at your calendar?". If there's other information you need, like a meal choice or the name of the hotel they've booked, be polite but direct. You should call your own friends and family members, while your fiancé should call his.

If you decide email would be the best way to reach your delinquent guests, don't send a group email to everyone who didn't RSVP. Instead, a personalized message to each guest or couple is the way to go — that way no one is embarrassed in front of your other friends and family members.

Speaking of family members, for relatives who haven't RSVP'd, talk to whichever of your parents is closest to them to see if they've heard anything before you make the call. Is your mom's cousin dragging her feet? It might be easier to get an answer if Mom makes the call, instead. The same goes for guests of your parents: A little nudge from your parents might be all it takes!

See more: 6 Tips and Tricks to Increase Your RSVP Response Rate

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