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Some brides and grooms plan every detail of their big day together. Sometimes, the bride does the bulk of the planning work, but the groom participates in making big decisions. Every once awhile, the groom has no clue what the bride has planned for their wedding weekend until it arrives, and they're both just fine with that.
In fact, as long as the bride and groom are comfortable, it doesn't matter if the groom has a single clue of what's going to happen once the wedding festivities start. It's okay if he has the "tell me where to be and when" philosophy if the bride's agreed to that. It means she can plan whatever she wants, no questions asked. The only time it becomes a problem is when the wedding festivities begin, and the groom continues to behave as though he were a guest instead of the host. Grooms: You cannot behave like a wedding guest.
Depending on whether a bride has a wedding planner to help reduce the her workload, and whether her guests can actually follow instructions (a side note to all wedding guests: please always make sure to read the welcome letter and instructions that have kindly been delivered to your accommodations ahead of their arrival), there can be a lot of pressure on the bride once the wedding weekend begins.
With the introduction of smartphones into our lives, wedding guests don't seem to realize how tacky it can be to keep calling and texting the bride and groom on their wedding weekend, wanting solutions and advice about all their problems and inconveniences. There might be a map in the welcome bag and directions in the welcome letter, but many guests will simply text the bride (cuz she's not busy, right?) to ask her to send directions, confirm times and generally hold their hands.
While that can be overwhelming, it's far worse when the groom fails to step up to the plate and manage his own guests during the wedding festivities. Many of his guests and extended family may not even have a direct number for the bride, so they call the groom. If the groom is used to ignoring his phone and continues that behavior, they will eventually track down the bride for help. By that time, they're usually frustrated (and some might even be nasty to her!).
See More: 50 Mistakes Grooms Always Make
So listen up, grooms! You do not get a free pass on your wedding weekend! You are half of the couple creating this lifetime union, and you have to be your future wife's wing-man on the wedding weekend. You have to deal with your family and their drama, and you have to respond to messages and calls from your friends and relatives. The bride has her own drama and stress managing her guests — and running the wedding if she doesn't have a planner.
A groom can't be a wedding guest at his own wedding, even if he wants to be. Even if you were lucky enough to escape stuffing wedding invitations, writing thank you notes, and making sure wedding party gifts were purchased and wrapped, that's all the slack you get. When the real wedding weekend is upon you, it's time to start acting like a groom.
Sandy Malone is the owner of Sandy Malone Weddings & Events and author of How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional. Sandy is the star of TLC's reality show Wedding Island, about her destination wedding planning company, Weddings in Vieques.