Photo: Tara Polly Photography
You may think you've talked your wedding to death by the time the week-of rolls around. But you're not done yet. As Jaclyn Fisher, owner of Two Little Birds Planning, so aptly explains, "communication is important throughout the entire planning process, and especially the week of the wedding." And here, our experts say, are six talks you must have during those seven days.
1. No wedding talk allowed
There are a million wedding things you'll need to talk through this week. But none of those conversations will be as important as the ones you have that aren't about the wedding at all, says Fisher. "Couples should always make time for one another and give themselves an opportunity to clear their minds of anything wedding related," she says. "Whether it's going out to lunch during the work week, cooking something new together for dinner, or going for a walk, a change of pace can lead to a simple conversation that reminds a couple what is most important: enjoying each other's company. While the wedding may seem top priority, your life after is what matters most, so continue to tell and show your fiancé how much you love him or her."
2. Your last-minute to-do list
In the week before your wedding, you'll likely have several last-minute errands to run. Think: Turning in seating charts, dropping off final payments, picking up rental attire, and passing along final head counts, says Aviva Samuels owner of Kiss the Plannerin Palm Beach, Florida. "Who will handle these tasks?" she asks. "They need to be clarified so that common wedding jitters don't reach all new heights."
Not only that, but Fisher adds that tackling your last-minute to-do list together will help you ensure that "you aren't duplicating efforts or forgetting anything while assuming the other is taking care of it." Plus, she says, "it's also a good opportunity to make sure that the workload isn't lopsided and to discuss how you can help each other. There are plenty projects that you can do together such as wrapping gifts, printing programs, or assembling welcome bags."
3. The wedding-day timeline
You've made your timeline and checked it twice. But are you both on the same page with who needs to be where, when? "The week of the wedding, couples should review their wedding day timeline, specifically the time spent with the wedding party before the ceremony," Fisher says. "Bridesmaids will be asking what time to report for hair and makeup. The groomsmen need to know when they should be dressed and ready for photos. Review the game plan together as a couple, so you're communicating the correct information and everyone is on the same page."
4. Vendor gratuities
One money item you must talk about the week of your wedding is vendor gratuities. "After reviewing contracts to make sure gratuity isn't already included, couples should decide who they want to tip and how much," says Fisher. "They should then set aside the gratuities in sealed, labeled envelopes and designate a person to distribute them, making it one less thing on their minds the day of the wedding. Couples should also include a heartfelt, handwritten thank you note for those vendors who went above and beyond throughout the planning process. Kind words from the couple will be appreciated just as much as the tip itself."
5. Wedding-day expectations
Use the week before your wedding to set yourself up for wedding-day success. "This is a good time to address your expectations for the wedding day itself, if you haven't already done so," says Samuels, who especially recommends discussing how much alone time you plan to fit in. "Private time can be carved out after the ceremony and before the reception begins. You might choose to sneak away to refresh and have a few bites before joining your guests, or you might not want to waste a minute of the reception apart from your family and friends. Each of you might have a different idea and discussing it in advance will be helpful."
6. Your emotions
Lastly, says Fisher, you should get real about how both of you are feeling as your wedding day approaches. "The week of the wedding, couples should have a general check in to talk about how they're each feeling, what's on their minds, and what, if anything, is causing them stress," she says. "Hearing how excited your fiancé is feeling may ease your nerves. There may be a problem that you're unaware of, but able to help solve. And sometimes it just feels good to vent and get it all out. Communication is key in all relationships, but extra important the week of the wedding."