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Some marriage advice you just shouldn't listen to. But other tidbits are valuable tools. And here to help you weed out the bad and focus on the very best advice are five real brides, ready to share the wisdom that has kept their marriages strong.
It's OK to go to bed angry.
Says Kristen, "You always hear people give newlyweds the advice of never going to bed angry, but my mother-in-law actually told me the opposite, and it couldn't be more true! If your goal is to try to reach a solution and make peace before bed during an argument with your spouse, chances are you're going to stay up arguing late into the night. The result? Waking up tired, with puffy eyes, and probably still mad because you got no sleep. Instead, agree to go to bed and address the issue in the morning after you've had time to sleep on it and think things over. Chances are, you'll approach the situation in a more calm manner or even forgive and forget altogether."
Don't speak ill of your spouse to others.
Says Tricia, "I've been married six years, and the best advice I received was actually from a blog! The advice was not to talk badly about your husband to others. So simple, yet so powerful. It hurts your spouse and makes others think poorly of your marriage."
Don't make compromises now you can't live with later.
Elaine says, "The best marital advice I ever got came from a divorced boss: 'Don't make any compromises in the short term that you're not willing to live with in the long term,' she said. I can't say that I have followed it to the letter, but it has been a consistent awareness in what is now a happy 24-year partnership of marriage. Basically, it leads me to ask, 'how important is this to me, really?' And that is a terrific deterrent to unnecessary arguments, and a great way to identify when something really is important enough to take a stand."
Make sure you have separate bathrooms.
Says Paige, "An old roommate told me if I ever got married to make sure we always had separate bathrooms. It was great advice and we've been happily married for 24 years this year. I am a mess in the bathroom and he is neat so it just never has to be an issue. Problem solved!"
Make time for date night every week.
Says Holly, "My advice came from a good friend of mine who had been married
for many years, who told me, 'always make time for date night each week.' At first, it seemed like a given that we would always keep dating each other. But as time wore on, that advice has been invaluable. Carving out time for a date night gets harder because life picks up, you both get busy, careers and family are demanding on your time. The love of your life and your marriage will both thrive if you create dedicated 'us time' each week — time to get out of the house, away from life's pressures, and just look into each others eyes and talk. It's amazing how connected you'll grow."