Our Wedding Conflicts with Another Family Members' — What Should We Do?

Etiquette, Planning Tips
cousin getting married same weekend what should we do

Photo: Getty Images

Choosing a wedding date is a daunting task. There are so many schedules to consider, from both of your work schedules to when your parents are free to which weekend your younger brother will be taking the SATs. And while you want to avoid the busiest weekends of the year (we're looking at you, Labor Day weekend!), there's a reason summer is the most popular time of the year to get married: The weather is gorgeous, people are more available, and everyone loves an excuse for a mid-summer getaway! The downside to choosing a popular weekend? The chance that someone else you know and love is getting married that same weekend! So while you might hope that getting the word out early will help avoid another wedding in the family the same weekend as yours, what should you do if two of you have chosen the same wedding date? Here's what our experts have to say.

The last thing you want to hear is that someone you care about won't be able to attend your wedding. Even worse? Finding out they can't attend because they'll be getting married the same day — meaning you'll have to miss their wedding, too! And while no one should expect either one of you to change all of your plans to accommodate the other person's celebration, there are a few other consequences of having a wedding the same weekend as a close friend or family member that you'll want to keep in mind.

See more: How to Choose a Wedding Date that Works for Everyone

The first is the guest list. If the other wedding is for an aunt, uncle, or cousin, some of your relatives may have to choose between your two weddings, which can be a tough spot to put people in. There's a good chance some of your family members (particularly the ones who are more closely related to one of you than the other) will choose the other wedding over yours. If you and your cousin are related by marriage, not by blood, this shouldn't be too complicated. Sure, your aunt's husband (who is your cousin's uncle) will probably go to your cousin's wedding instead of yours, and your aunt may decide to join him, but your blood relatives will probably choose your wedding (if they're invited to your cousin's at all). If your mom and your cousin's dad are siblings, things get a little trickier. The family will need to pick one event over the other, but try not to take it personally. Instead, consider planning a casual joint celebration after the fact so you both have a chance to spend some time with everyone — and each other!

Is a friend getting married the same weekend as you? Your friend group should naturally divide itself, with mutual friends choosing the wedding of whomever they're closest to. Again, a post-wedding joint party is a great way to all celebrate together!

No matter who is getting married, be sure to send them a gift and a note congratulating them, both on their marriage and on choosing the perfect day to say "I do!"

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