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Planning a wedding is a big responsibility, and it can be hard to hand over the reins to some of your pre-wedding events, no matter what etiquette says. And it can be particularly challenging for low-key brides who are either planning a more casual wedding or don't love being the center of attention! So what's a bride to do when a well-meaning mom or aunt has big plans for a bridal shower but she'd prefer something more relaxed? Here's what our experts recommend.
While you can't necessarily tell someone how to plan a party they're throwing you, and you want to avoid coming across as ungrateful, there are a few steps you can take to ensure that your bridal shower is something with which you're really comfortable.
Before the planning begins, have a conversation with whomever is hosting. Let them know how appreciative you are, but also feel free to mention things you'd like to avoid (like a fancy brunch or a gathering for a huge crowd). The party is in your honor, after all, so the host should be receptive to suggestions that will make you feel comfortable.
Once planning is underway, you might not know much of what is going on, especially since bridal showers are often surprise events. But that doesn't mean you can't send a few reminders through the grapevine! Gently remind the host (or your bridal party, who can spread the word for you) that you don't want her to spend too much money or plan something that's too complicated or involved. Put the focus on having a fun, comfortable celebration with the women you love, and ask her to leave it at that.
And if you show up for lunch at your mom's house and SURPRISE! It's your bridal shower? Grin and bear it! Remember that all the effort was made to celebrate you and your marriage, so even if it's a bigger to-do than you'd wanted, it's all in the name of love.