The Shorter the Engagement, the Harder the Wedding Planning: True or False?

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Crazy in love. Health insurance. Green card. Pregnancy. Deployment. Ill parent. These are just a few of the reasons that can drive couples to the altar much more quickly than the average, who today are engaged between 13 and 18 months.

It makes sense, then that in my counseling practice, I see a lot of short-engagement brides. Because when you're changing part of your identity from single to married, a lot of strong feelings of glee and joy as well as sadness, fear, anxiety, and even grief arise. It's all perfectly normal for brides-to-be to experience a broad spectrum of intense emotion. It's how you make these major evolutions in your identity that are happening to you right now.

Oh yes, you're also planning your wedding...

Is this a lot of emotion to process in a brief period? Yes. Is it doable? Absolutely. What you need to focus on is self-care. We know what you're thinking: "There no time!" But you must make it — to eat well and exercise, to take breaks from wedding planning, to discern what needs to be perfect and when are things "good enough."

What's really going to get you through is staying connected to family and friends. Share with them all that you are processing, thinking, feeling, and going through — the real stuff, not just the wedding planning. Your nearest and dearest can pitch in with the wedding work, yes, but what you really need them there for is to listen, to understand, to help you work through all your very normal emotions that you're having to process at semi-warp speed.

See More: No Bridezilla Here! Tips for Channeling Wedding Planning Anger

Short engagement? Hold onto your hat and enlist your besties as you quickly experience and process the endings and beginnings that all brides go through.

Allison Moir-Smith is a bridal counselor and author, and solves your family, emotional, and sticky wedding-planning situations at The Bride Whisperer.

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