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Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge.
If wearing lingerie were a sporting event, the evening of your wedding day would be the Superbowl. In the old days, the wedding night might be the first time a bride and groom saw each other naked, much less had sex.
These days — unless religious traditions or moral convictions have kept you from taking each other out for a test drive — you and your new husband will probably already have a rich sex life before you tie the knot. For you, wedding night lingerie is a more of an added spice — an amuse bouche, if you will, before the main meal.
So what should you wear for the big night? Well, speaking as the representatives of all men in the universe, we at the Plunge have the answer... We have no idea what you should wear.
When it comes to sexy lingerie, men don't really have a lot to offer in terms of practical advice. That might not seem to make sense, as lingerie is, supposedly, created with us in mind. But for men, lingerie is kind of like Ecstacy... We don't really know how it's made, but we like the effect it has on us.
You, on the other hand, are there in the lab, smashing the molecules together, mixing and matching different frilly, lacy underthings to get the perfect sexy look.
If we were to give advice, it would be this: get something that you like, something that makes you feel comfortable and sexy. It doesn't have to be an elaborate bustier and garter belt combo. Some of us actually prefer the casual approach ("boyfriend" shirt and librarian glasses, for instance). The sexier you feel, the sexier we'll find you.
On the other hand, the wedding night and honeymoon is a great excuse for stocking up on stockings...and bras, panties, garter belts, teddies, body bows, naughty knickers and teeny-weenie monokinis. You don't even have to spend your own money. You can get your friends to buy you what you want by putting everything on a registry.
We know what you're thinking: I don't want to put lingerie on my wedding registry. I don't want my dad, my uncles, my mother, or my fiancé's groomsmen to know what I'm wearing underneath the wedding dress. That's perfectly reasonable. You need a registry devoted only to lingerie. We have one to recommend. It's called OuiHours.
A shoppable online lingerie magazine and registry like OuiHours allows you to pick the lacy underthings you want and share them with the small circle of people from whom you might actually want to receive a lacy underthing — your best friends, maybe, or your bridesmaids. It's a silver bullet for bachelorette parties or bridal showers and for the more adventurous bride, the big day in order to avoid gag gifts and lingerie that looks like a gag gifts.
Better yet, it will allow your man to buy you something naughty, and he'll know it's something you'll actually wear. He won't make the mistake of getting something too small ("How am I supposed to fit into that?"), something too big ("Oh my God! You must think I'm an elephant!"), or something too filthy ("Are you out of your MIND? I'm not letting you put that on me!").
You'll like what you get. He'll like you in what you get. Your marriage will start the way it should: In a spirit of saucy, sexy simpatico.