How Do I Tell the Maid of Honor She's Not Doing a Good Job?

Bridesmaids, Planning Tips
how to tell your maid of honor she's not doing a good job

Photo: Getty Images

Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates. For her latest BRIDES column, Jen is here to give some expert advice to brides who need help with their maids of honor.

There's a good chance the person you asked to be your maid of honor is someone you trust, respect and have a really close friendship with. They may have been your go-to person for years or just someone you felt you could call when everything in your world was crackling into tiny pieces. So when you asked them to be your maid of honor and stand by your side before your wedding and also while you are up at the altar saying "I do", you probably imagined they would know exactly what to do.

But, in reality, nobody teaches you how to be a rockstar maid of honor. It's a role some of us are lucky to take on once or twice in our lifetimes and, often times, we are so excited to do it that we don't even know where to start. Sometimes, too, we are too busy to handle the job, and things we are supposed to take care of or even plan fall through the cracks.

See More: 49 Mistakes Bridesmaids Always Make

However, it's important for brides to remember that no maid of honor can read minds, so it's possible the MOH doesn't know what the bride wants or needs to be done. If your maid of honor isn't being there for you or stepping up and taking the lead on planning things, communicate with her. Sit down with a cup of coffee or a bottle of wine and let her know what you'd like her to take care of. If she expresses that she's too busy or needs some extra help, turn to other members of the bridal party and see if they can help her out and keep her on track with everything.

Try not to let the wedding adventure ruin your friendship. Instead, try to be understanding and remember, most things can be solved with an honest in-person conversation.

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift

Get personalized planning advice, exclusive offers and must-read wedding news.

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from