The Golden Rule of Wedding Planning: Grooms Who Don't Help, Shouldn't Criticize

Grooms, Planning Tips
Unhelpful and Critical Grooms

Photo: Getty Images

Sandy Malone, star of TLC's Wedding Island, is the owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico. Here, the pro-planner tells the story of one groom who didn't follow the golden rule of wedding planning.

Like a lot of brides, I was one of those women who got to plan her wedding with little interference from my soon-to-be-husband. Not that I didn't give him the opportunity to express his opinion, but he let me know from the outset that I could have whatever I wanted, as long as we could afford it.

The planning part was easy for him right up until the last few weeks, when I drafted him to make the many trips to mail boxes to our wedding destination. Once we arrived at our destination, he familiarized himself with our schedule, and helped me stuff and deliver welcome bags, sort the favors, confirm the vendors, and anything else I asked. My husband never once expressed a single negative opinion about what I'd planned, or asked me to change something at the last minute. I was a very lucky bride.

Unfortunately, over the years I have also encountered a handful of grooms who were quite the opposite. Although they never participated in a single planning call, they suddenly arrived for their destination wedding and didn't like what the bride and I had planned. They were demanding and rude. Apparently, nothing we had done was good enough.

See More: 50 Mistakes Grooms Always Make

One groom didn't like the beach we'd chosen for the wedding ceremony. We changed the location a day ahead (and notified every guest and got new permits). He wanted the chairs set up a specific way, and we told him that he needed to arrive at the beach an hour ahead to show us where he wanted things. He was warned that if he was late, we would set up without him.

He was more than a half-hour late. Most of the guests were there and seated. You'd think he'd just go with the flow at this point, since the fault was his. But noooo! He wanted us to pick up everything, move it all down the beach, set it up again, and make all the guests move into the new seats. When I told him it was too late, he began screaming and yelling at me in front of all of the guests. His solution was to continue to verbally abuse me while he made all the guests stand in the heat so he and his groomsmen could move chairs and change the setup.

Finally, the guests were reseated, and we had a wedding. The entire group arrived an hour late to the reception, due to the groom's nonsense, and they lost that time off their party. The bar clock begins when the schedule says — no exceptions. The groom never spoke to me or made eye contact with me again, while the bride apologized profusely. Several guests made a point to send us nice emails apologizing for the groom's behavior.

Sandy Malone is the owner of Sandy Malone Weddings & Events, a full-service traditional and destination wedding planning company and Do-It-Yourself wedding planning consulting service for DIY brides and grooms based in the Washington, DC area. Sandy is the star of TLC's reality show "Wedding Island," about her destination wedding planning company, Weddings in Vieques. Sandy's book "How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional," will be released on March 1st, but is available online for pre-orders now where books are sold.

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