9 "Embarrassing" Sex Moments That Are Actually Totally Normal

embarrassing sex moments that are normal

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You're not the only one who's giggled during dirty talk...

1. You start your period during sex.
This may catch you off guard, but health-wise, it's NBD. "Women have an idea when they can expect their period each month, but leave it to Aunt Flow to shock everyone by arriving during sex," Kristie Overstreet, certified sex therapist and counselor, tells SELF. "This is so common, but it is still really hard to go through during the moment." (Especially if your sheets get stained!)

2. You giggle during dirty talk.
For some women, dirty talk is incredibly sexy*that is, until it comes out of their own mouths, because trying it for the first time can make you want to giggle like a middle schooler. "Don't feel embarrassed, think of it as a new challenge," says Overstreet. On the other hand, if you're the partner who's craving dirty talk but are afraid to ask for it, know that you're not alone. "It is very normal for people to want to hear their partner talk to them in a different way than they would outside of sex." Inquire away!

3. You experience ejaculation.
This is completely normal. Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., sex educator, researcher and co-author of The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality (in short, one of the heroes responsible for popularizing the term "g spot") tells SELF that female ejaculation has long been a source of embarrassment and misunderstanding, even though it's nothing to be ashamed of. "Female ejaculation occurs with or without orgasm, usually related to stimulation of the area [co-author] Dr. John Perry and I named the Grafenberg spot or G spot. It is the release of about a teaspoon of a fluid from the urethra. The fluid looks like watered-down fat free milk, tastes sweet, and does not smell like urine. Before we conducted and published our findings on female ejaculation back in the early 1980's, many women reported that they felt embarrassed, stopped experiencing orgasm, or had surgery to correct the expulsion of fluid," she says. Luckily, the '80s are long gone, and (thanks in part to Dr. Whipple), we live in a more sexually educated era than ever— so rejoice in the fact that female ejaculation makes no difference in how "normal" you are in the sack.

4. You puke during a blow job.
It happens! Tearing up, gagging and retching are also common occurrences during oral sex, so don't fret if they happen to you. "We all have gag reflexes and, chances are, a penis is the largest thing that you are ever going to put in your mouth," sex therapist Rob Peach tells SELF. "It's natural for your body to react." Friendly reminder: if you're ever in pain or uncomfortable during a blow job (or any other sexual situation), or your body's reaction feels off, you are always entitled to stop at any time.

5. You don't have an orgasm.
Many women "don't, or can't, reach orgasm during conventional, vaginal sex," says Peach. Lots of ladies only orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation, which isn't always easy to get during P-in-V sex (if your partner is a dude). All women's bodies are different, and lots of women require different kinds of stimulation to orgasm. In short, it's not an issue if you don't come right away— all that matters is whether it's important to you that you get off. Some people enjoy sex just as much with or without an orgasm, but of course, many women prefer to climax before the night is over, so if it isn't happening for you, embark on a little sexy experimentation with your partner to find out which poses or moves help you get there. "Think of it as an opportunity to introduce some other forms of play into your sex life," says Peach. Don't mind if you do!

6. You queef.
Queefing happens when air is expelled through the vagina, usually making a loud fart-like sound along with it. (If it's never happened to you during sex, it's almost definitely happened to you during yoga class). Silly as it can feel to be interrupted by such a noise when you're trying to get your groove on, it's a regular fact of life that happens to most women at one time or another. "The most important thing to remember is that we are all human and this is just one of the many things we need to accept about ourselves when it happens," Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D., founder of sexual wellness store HolisticWisdom.com, tells SELF.

7. You pee or poop during sex.
When you're caught up in pleasure, urinating, passing gas, or defecating can happen. If this happens to you, instead of hiding under the covers for the rest of eternity, remind yourself that this is not abnormal! You are hardly the first person it's happened to— and it's probably not the first time your partner's come across it in their sex life either. Shit happens! In fact, Lawless has a very positive view of moments like these: "In most cases, such loss of control indicates intense sexual abandon which should be a wonderful compliment to your lover." If you're hooking up with a decent human being, they won't make a big fuss about it.

8. You feel unexpected pain.
If something suddenly hurts, don't be embarrassed to say "ow!" A quality partner wants to know if they're hurting you so they can stop (and even if you're involved in a safe, consensual kink situation that involves pain, there's a big difference between pain you're anticipating and something that hurts when it shouldn't— let them know what you're feeling). Research has shown that as many as 30 percent of women have felt occasional pain during sex, so you're not alone!

"Pain or discomfort happens, especially if women aren't well lubricated. It's a good sign that your partner might not be doing enough to stimulate before penetration," says Peach. In that case, it's probably a simple matter of amping up your foreplay or bringing some lube into the bedroom. "But, if the pain persists, see a physician." If something doesn't feel right, tell your partner to stop, and put things on hold until you feel ready for sex again. If the pain feels consistently intense, you could be experiencing vulvodynia and vaginismus, which a doctor can help diagnose.

9. Your partner isn't "excited" enough.
If your partner is a guy and he's having trouble keeping an erection, don't assume it has anything to do with you. "There could be many factors which leads to this such as alcohol use, drug use, medications, stress, weight, excessive porn, poor health, diet, and age. This has nothing to do with their attractiveness to their partners," says Overstreet. It's also unbelievably common, and often nothing to be worried about. Just as you'd expect kindness and a calm attitude from your partner if any of the above situations happened to you, offer the same to him. Bodies do unexpected things sometimes, and it's no biggie.

If you have an awkward moment during sex, don't freak out...
And don't lay awake at 2A.M. the next night replaying it in your head either! Try one of these suggestions from Overstreet to get through it in the moment.

Have a sense of humor
Sex is funny sometimes! When something weird happens, "why not make a joke about the situation or laugh out loud?" says Overstreet. You have nothing to be embarrassed about anyway, and and "nothing can make a situation seem less awkward than using humor."

Just ignore it
"Awkward moments have less power if you ignore them and keep going," says Overstreet. Depending on what just happened (it might be tough to ignore anything that makes a mess), it might be easier to just stay in the moment and not even acknowledge the mishap. By the time you've both come, you'll have forgotten all about it anyway.

Go easy on yourself
"Life is hard enough, there isn't any benefit to beating yourself up!" says Overstreet. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and your partner probably barely thought twice about it. "Just because you are obsessively worrying over it, doesn't mean your partner is. Cut yourself some slack, keep your head up, and know that as long as you have sex there will always be more awkward moments to come."

See More:
18 Things You Should Never Put In Your Vagina
12 Common Sex Problems Couple's Therapists Hear All The Time
15 Sexual Red Flags You Should Always Avoid

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