You Weren't Asked to Be a Bridesmaid, But the Bride Keeps Tapping You for Help — Here's How to Deal

Bridesmaids, Etiquette
you're not a bridesmaid but you keep getting asked to help plan

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You're not in the bridal party, but the bride keeps tapping you for help — and it's more than a little awkward (not to mention annoying!). Here, our experts tackle this uncomfortable situation.

When a satellite friend doesn't ask you to be a bridesmaid, you figure you are off the hook for attending bridal showers, bachelorette parties and dress fittings. And while your presence might not be expected at those events, when you find yourself fielding 3 a.m. emails to weigh in on dress colors or leaving work for a long lunch to consult on floral arrangements, it can be taxing. While you still might be thankful you were sidelined for having to march down the aisle in matching dresses, you're starting to feel like that friend who wasn't up to snuff for the job but is always available as an errand runner.

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If you're truly so far in the inner circle of wedding planning that you've been asked to book the mother of the groom's hair appointment, it may be time to have the tough conversation with the bride. Explain to her that you value her friendship and are flattered she trusts you with so many tasks, but that there is a whole team of women waiting for the opportunity to help as well. She might not even realize she's out of line, or she may not be receiving the help she needs from the friends she thought would be by her side throughout this process.

Put yourself in her shoes and have a little empathy for that sinking feeling of being overwhelmed by a mountain of work with no help in sight. Perhaps the most helpful thing you could do is to organize the massive to-do list in her head. Sit down with a laptop and allow her to dictate while you type. Creating that list will help her delegate tasks to her bridesmaids rather than expecting you to swoop in and save the day at the last minute.

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