How to Talk About Your Wedding with Someone Who Isn't Invited

Champagne Toast Guests Coworkers

Photo: Erich McVey

You've told the world you are engaged and now the planning is underway, which means conversations are turning from friendly congratulations to curiosity about what's in the works in terms of planning your wedding. Your mom and maid of honor might know every little detail, but how should you answer prying questions from that casual acquaintance or coworker who didn't make the guest list? Our experts weigh in.

The most important thing to keep in mind when discussing wedding details with someone who won't be getting an invitation is how close the two of you are. If you have a professional relationship (say, your hair stylist asks about the flowers while you're getting a trim or your trainer wants to know where you found the bridesmaids' dresses), feel free to share some of the basic details — there isn't a risk of hurt feelings in a situation where there's no expectation of an invite.

See more: What to Do When a Coworker Is Incredibly Excited For Your Wedding...But Isn't Invited

However, if a middle school friend is asking about the date or whether you've chosen your bridesmaids and the two of you aren't as close as you were 15 years ago, keep the wedding talk to a bare minimum. Sharing too much could imply that they'll be on the guest list, and could result in hurt feelings when the wedding day has come and gone.

No matter who you're speaking with, if someone won't be invited and is asking about what you've got planned or whether they've made the cut, it's best to be sensitive, but direct. A simple response like "It's going to be very intimate" or "We've decided to keep the guest list on the smaller side" is enough to let them know that you won't be asking for their mailing address. Then make sure to keep wedding talk to a minimum (or avoid it all-together) so as not to rub salt in the wound.

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