Ask a Professional Bridesmaid: How Do I Get My Mother and the Groom's Mother to Get Along?

When Mothers Don't Get Along

Photo: Getty Images

Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates. For her column, Jen answers a burned-out bride's crucial question: "How do I get my mother and the groom's mother to get along?"

When a couple gets engaged and starts planning their wedding, they often don't realize that there will be a whole list of characters by their side through this whole adventure — helping them make decisions, expressing their opinions, and of course, potentially starting up unnecessary drama on the sidelines before anyone has a chance to see it coming.

If your mother and the groom's mother have a history of butting heads or not being able to share a glass of wine together (without an outbreak of emotions and heated arguments), it's important to fix the situation before you get too deep into wedding planning. You don't want to find yourself walking down the aisle with drama and tension in the room.

See More: Mom vs. Mom: How the Mother of the Bride's Duties Differ from the Mother of the Groom's

The best thing to do is have them have a conversation. It's as simple as that. Let them get together and decide who is taking care of what and where their various responsibilities lie. From there, they'll know what projects or event plans they own and can take charge. If the issue is deeper than a casual conversation that will resolve any issues between the two moms, it may be important to get your groom involved. Make sure to let them know that they may have differences or hurt feelings, but the main goal is your love and joining of families. Without doing that, both mothers may try to do everything all at once or hold a grudge throughout the process, and we all know what happens when there are two cooks in the kitchen. You may end up with two different wedding cakes, which isn't the worst thing in the world, but try two different DJs, and there may be a problem...

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