Photo: Mary + Roy
Going to parties as an engaged couple can take some getting used to.
You're no longer single, so nights out definitely are not about getting hammered and hooking up. Or taking over the dance floor with your gang of girlfriends. Or swiping right on Tinder.
Nope, those days are now over. And you want them to be— you've found Your Guy. But showing up at those same parties as an engaged couple can just feel odd.
It's a subtle change. Brides often tell me they feel sad that they don't quite know how to behave at parties, or have the same type or degree of fun. Then they feel guilty for feeling that way. Don't. It's normal to feel a bit verklempt and at odds as you figure out how to have fun at parties even though the mystery of who you're going home with is forever solved.
See More: How to Keep Your Newly Engaged Glow
We bet your fiancé's experiencing it too. So talk about it: name what's really going on, that you're in this in-between state when it comes to socializing. Neither single, nor married. (A few years into marriage, you'll feel like you're missing a limb when you socialize without him. So know that this is a finite period of time in your relationship.)
What you do need to do is adjust your attitude, because parties now have a different meaning in your life now, a different purpose. They're about socializing as a couple. Seeing friends. Building up your community. Expanding your social circle. Mixing it up and having fun as a couple, outside of your day-to-day life together in your apartment, among other people. Parties, which were once a way to meet potential life partners, are now mechanisms for enriching your life with this life partner you've chosen.
Allison Moir-Smith, MA, is a bridal counselor, cold feet expert, creator of How Brides-To-Be REALLY Feel videos, and author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life.