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Your parents just won't stop contacting you. Every whim or worry that crosses their minds, they pick up their phones to text their anxieties or criticisms to you.
So not fun.
If this is happening to you, here's a new approach to take: give them something to really worry about. Decide with your fiancé what's truly important on your to-do list, and what's not important to you both.
Could you care less about the limos and transportation? Hotel blocks? Flowers? Wine? Cake? Favors? Be really honest here: not every single teeny tiny wedding detail is important — despite what the wedding industry tells you.
Farm out the responsibility of your less important tasks. (Your guests need a place to stay, after all, and your non-working mother-in-law has plenty of time to scout locations.) Give that parent complete creative license and full responsibility and then let it go. They'll be so wrapped up in getting their tasks done right, they won't have as much brain space for endlessly texting every passing worry. Devious, but true.
Does your mom adore wedding flowers? Let her go to town on them. We bet they'll be beyond what you could imagine for yourself (or want to pay for by yourself).
Does your future father-in-law have top-shelf taste in booze? Let him have fun planning the special cocktails and buying the bar supplies (and let him foot that bill).
Paying for your wedding yourself? You have a different motive: creating an experience for you all to share. Even if they can't pony up for your wedding, your parents still want to feel included in this huge life event of yours. So determine what item/event/area you're comfortable handing over to them — (welcome bags? Sunday brunch?). Then hand it over and strike it from your to-do list.
To get your parents off your back when planning your wedding, sometimes it's best to throw them a bone.
Allison Moir-Smith, MA, is a bridal counselor, cold feet expert, creator of How Brides-To-Be REALLY Feel videos, and author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life.