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Your mother may very well be your best friend. So when it comes time to send out invitations to your bachelorette bash, it can seem downright unnatural not to add your mom to the guest list. But despite your bestie status, is that really a good idea?
Andrea Ramsay Speers, psychotherapist and parenting coach, says you must first consider whether the relationship you have with your mother meshes with the type of bachelorette debauchery you envision will unfold. "If your mom is rather traditional and modest, inviting her to a rockin' bachelorette with a male stripper might just make her — and you! — uncomfortable," Speers points out. "But if you're planning something more relaxed, such as a day at the spa, or something more elegant, like high tea, your mother might be delighted to be included in those events."
If your mother routinely kicks back with your closest gal pals, it might feel unnatural if she's not around for this festive fete, Speers says. But you also shouldn't feel pressure that you have to invite your mother. "A bachelorette party is meant to be a good time with friends, so mom is never required to be invited," says Speers.
Should your mother join your 'maids for this epic event, be prepared that she may see a side of you she'd rather not, warns Speers. "I'm sure your mom isn't under any illusions about the kind of party the bachelorette will be," she says, "but knowing it and seeing it are two different things."
You, too, may see a side of your mother you'd rather not have burned in your memory. "You may not be so keen on watching your mom get wild and crazy, or feeling as though you need to be responsible for making sure your mother enjoys the night out and is having a good time," Speers says.
If you're still conflicted, consider your relationship once more. "If you really want your mother there, then you should invite her," says Speers. "Your mom can always politely decline the invitation if she doesn't want to attend."