Ask a Professional Bridesmaid: Should You Tell Guests They Have a Plus-One on Your Save-the-Dates?

Etiquette, Invites & Stationery, Planning Tips
Plus One on the Save the Date

Photo: Courtesy of Jolly Edition

Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates. For her weekly column, Jen tackles the tricky issue of whether or not to include a plus one on your save-the-dates.

Figuring out what information to include on your save-the-dates can be a complicated task — you want to give enough info so that your guests know if they're able to commit to attending, but it's also an early step in the process — and a lot of your details have yet to be hammered out, including your head count.

Because of this, handing out plus-ones on your save-the-date can be a dangerously premature move. Of course, some of your guests are grandfathered into having a plus-one, because they are married or in very serious relationships. But for some of your other guests, who are casually dating or single, you're just unsure of whether you have the room — or funds — to let them bring someone.

See More: Ask a Professional Bridesmaid: Is It Rude to Ask for a Plus-One?

I have only once been granted a plus-one for a wedding, and I've been to more weddings than I can count on my hands and my toes. Most of the time, both the save-the-date and the wedding invitation are addressed to little old me. Sometimes — especially when I've been a bridesmaid — I've started asking a few weeks before the wedding if I can bring someone with me, that is if the bride and groom have an extra seat at a table.

One time, I was given a plus-one and when I saw that on the save-the-date, I jumped up and down until finally I realized I needed to go into planning mode. I needed to find someone to bring! While I was thrilled that I was given this honor — and told via save-the-date — I did think it was too early to tell guests. Since you're still unsure of how many people you can ensure a plus-one or even who you'd like to give that honor to, it's perfectly okay to wait. Hold off on including this important piece of info until you send out the invitations and have a better idea of how many people you can fit in the venue and how many you can afford pay. Even if a week before the wedding you tell a couple of people that they can bring a guest, they will be thrilled. At least I would be!

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