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Not all guys love sports, but when it comes to marriage, many of us unknowingly approach it with a sports mentality. If there's one thing we've learned over the years — either from our jock days or watching too many movies that end with the winning punch, jump shot, or touchdown— it's that we need the support of a team to really succeed. And marriage is the ultimate team.
It may sound trite to put it this way, but isn't the person you marry essentially your best possible teammate? I suppose it's unfair for me to speak for all men, but going off of the guys I know, I can say with confidence that most of us really do understand that sex alone isn't going to be the foundation of a lasting relationship. (Although it's pretty great.) We understand that there needs to be other layers— and we want those layers. I'd even venture to say that more than a romance, we want to meet a person who can intuit what we're thinking, who can anticipate our moves (both good and bad), who supports us, shares our goals, and can help us achieve them. Don't women want the same thing? In the end, we are all looking for "our person"— or, if we're going with my admittedly-predictable sports analogy, "our teammate."
We want to feel like you get us, we get you, and we can do more together than either of us could alone. It's a realization that for some guys hits instantly, and for others develops over time— maybe even years. Regardless of how long it takes, though, it has to be there. And when it is, that's the woman a guy imagines spending the rest of his life with.
Now for a crucial point: The teammate connection can't be forced. You both have to truly want the same things in life, and you both have to work well together on a daily basis. In terms of realizing all of this, it really can "click" in a single moment — sometimes small, sometimes big — where a woman says or does something that makes us realize, She totally understands me. It's in that ever-important blip of time that the curtains part and we know for certain that this is right, and we are ready. Then the question becomes: Is she? (And we pray the answer is yes.)
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I'm pretty sure that aha moment happens on both sides of the relationship equation. Have you experienced it? It's just one of those unexplainable, beautiful things that happens when two people just work together. This means there's no overanalyzing whether or not to call each other, no group texts with friends to analyze every detail of a date, no stressing about what the other person is doing when you're not there (just excitement about when you'll be together next). It all comes down to pure instinct. Which is nice, I think. I, for one, like knowing that there's still some unexplainable magic left in the world, especially where love is concerned.