How Real Brides Uninvited Wedding Guests

Wedding guest etiquette RSVPs

Photo: Getty Images

Once you've sent out the "Save the Date" card, isn't it too late to rescind an invitation? Not necessarily. These real brides dish how, and why, they uninvited guests.

"I uninvited my mother. We've never been close but when your information is on Facebook you can't not include her. During the planning process she made it plain she didn't have money for the plane trip 'and needed help.' Our wedding was on an extremely limited budget; we couldn't afford her ticket. She called crying, having 'been drinkin' moonshine,' saying how sad she'd be to miss the wedding. I did my best to assure her it wouldn't be a big deal. In reality the wedding was pretty special — and we didn't have to play nursemaid to my drunk, over-emotional mess of a mother." - Maigen

"It was an easy decision to uninvite Chelsea, even though she was scheduled to be a bridesmaid. A month before the wedding, she hit on my fiancé!" - Gina

"Three months before the wedding my fiancé's cousin was arrested for armed robbery. Even though he was out on bail, I felt no guilt calling him to say it was best he not attend. He understood — there were other things on his mind." - Nancy

"My sister and a close friend got into such a terrible fight six months before the wedding they couldn't be in the same room. My friend made it easy for me to uninvite her — she said, 'My wedding gift to you is not forcing you to be stuck in the middle.'" - Beth

"Believing my parents were going to help out with the cost of the wedding, I invited two co-workers. Then my parents said they'd reached their financial limit. I was forced to explain that I couldn't afford to have anyone but family and close friends. Luckily my co-workers were sweet about it — even throwing a bridal shower in the office." - Sue

See more: What to Do When Your RSVP Date Has Passed and You Haven't Heard From Many Guests

"Our wedding venue was not child friendly. My husband explained the situation to his brother (best man) but he and his wife insisted on bringing their infant and wouldn't accept our accommodations of an on-site sitter, who was also a registered nurse! They even called the venue behind our back — not believing children weren't welcome. My husband flat out uninvited the baby, knowing his brother wouldn't come!" - Solange

"An elementary school friend I kept in touch with via Facebook got all excited when I posted about my wedding. Since she lived across the country and clearly wouldn't come, I figured I'd be nice and invite her. Then she accepted! I called and said my budget was small (true!) and I had to rethink my invites. I felt terrible and she unfriended me. But I wasn't sorry she wasn't at the wedding." - Deb

"My fiancé invited his ex-girlfriend, thinking I'd be okay with it, as they'd broken up a decade before. I knew she wasn't a threat but having her there on my day of days made me uncomfortable. I asked Rich to uninvite her, making me the fall guy and that's what he did." - Wendy

"In the mad rush to send out wedding invitations we allowed everyone to bring a significant other. A girlfriend was dating someone I'd never met, with a shady past, who'd been accused, though never convicted of a sexual crime. I called and said though I loved her, I hoped she wouldn't bring this person I don't approve of. She made a fuss but left him home." - Sheri

Sherry Amatenstein is a New York City-based marriage therapist and author.

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