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In your first month of marriage, you might be so focused on what you can and should do that you haven't given much thought to the things you might want to avoid. So while you're soaking up time with your new spouse and having amazing married sex, here are four talks and activities best tabled until at least month two.
1. Avoid throwing parties or family get-togethers.
"It can be tempting to start entertaining all the time now that you're married," says Esther Boykin, Virginia-based licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach, "but it's important for couples to figure out the boundaries of their marriage and where friends and family fit into it before throwing parties." While it's important to build a support system of family and friends who will protect and champion your marriage, try to "nurture your partnership first," Boykin says. "Figure out how to be alone together and navigate your new life. You'll have plenty of time for family dinners and couples game nights at your place in the years to come."
2. Avoid packing up and moving.
Saying moving is stressful might be the understatement of the year. By postponing your first big move together, you can "savor the relaxation that usually follows a wedding and honeymoon," says Sari Cooper, New York City-based licensed couples and sex therapist. "Each step of uniting one's lives can be exciting if they're taken one at a time. Hold off on signing new leases or buying a new home for several months to a year."
3. Avoid making any major life decisions.
"You're coming off one of the biggest decisions of your life and hopefully feeling very optimistic for your future together," describes Boykin. "That often feels like the perfect time to start planning your next big career move or to buy your dream house, but it's not." Not only could your rose-colored glasses color your decision, but "you don't want to commit to another major lifestyle change until you have time to settle into this one," she explains. "Slow down and give yourselves time to see the pros and cons of any major change."
4. Avoid having the baby talk.
"Hopefully before you got married you already had several conversations on the topic of children and are on the same page," says Cooper. You've got a plan, so avoid revisiting that particular topic this month. "It can create a lot of pressure on both members of a couple and create a goal-oriented feel to your life that robs you of the excitement and adventure of getting to know one another better, have new experiences as a couple, and settle into your new family," Cooper explains.