Photo: New Line Cinema/Courtesy Neal Peters Collection
Your baby is getting married, and you couldn't be more excited! Dress shopping, cake tasting, venue hunting, what's not to love? You've vowed to be by her side every step of the way and will do everything in your power to ensure this wedding is perfect. But where do you draw the line between involved and too involved? And how will you know once you've crossed it? Here are a few signs you need to slow your roll stat, and take a step back before you really start to annoy the bride...
1. You send her links to every wedding idea you think is great on Pinterest
And when you get together, can't help but share stories like how so-and-so's daughter did such-and-such-thing at her wedding and it was just so beautiful. While your heart is (hopefully) in the right place, you're putting way too much pressure on the bride. Sending a few links here and there is fine and even appreciated, but censor the amount and do try to hold back now and then. She has enough on her plate already without the added stress of always trying to please you or wondering if she made the right decision because you prefer something different.
2. You're constantly checking in with the bride to see if she's on track with things
With the budget, guest list, rentals...you name it, you're on top of it. Chances are, the bride is thinking, "OMG, back off mom!" Space is essential here. Your baby is growing up, after all. She doesn't need you, or anyone for that matter, breathing down her neck or treating her like a child who can't be trusted to do things correctly. Instead of nagging, why not find out what you can take off her plate for her?
3. You use your money to manipulate
Compromise is key, particularly when you and your husband are footing the bill for the big day. Keep in mind that this is your daughter's day though, not an opportunity to create the wedding you always wanted but never got. With that said, if the bride is simply dying to have a DJ and you prefer live music, perhaps you can meet in the middle and hire a band for the ceremony and a DJ for the reception? It's your money so you should get some say in things, however, not at the cost of ruining your relationship with your daughter. Listen to her desires, and work as a team.
4. You haven't figured out how to feign excitement
Occasionally, you have to fake it until you make it moms! There's no way every decision your daughter or daughter-in-law makes will be perfectly in line with your own tastes. If she's blatantly head over heels for a certain dress or sends you a snapshot of a boho braided updo she's dying to recreate, sometimes it's best to pretend to be into it, or at the very least, give some positive feedback. Scowling and saying, "It's alright" or, "I think you could do better, honey" to everything the bride suggests will ultimately push her away and likely limit your future involvement in the planning. That's not to say you shouldn't ever offer up your true opinion. Just pick and choose your battles, moms.