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There's a reason men are equated to microwaves, while women are compared to ovens. We take awhile to heat up. "Foreplay is important for a woman's sexual experience because it prepares her body to have the best sex possible," says sex expert Nikki Ransom-Alfred. "It awakens her nerve endings to make sex feel great. Foreplay also increases her chances of coming to orgasm and experiencing really powerful orgasms as well."
But, unfortunately, as much as we need and crave it, most women don't get enough foreplay. "Men can become ready for sex rather quickly, and may not understand that a woman needs more time in order to have a more pleasurable experience," Ransom-Alfred explains. On average, women need 20 minutes of intense foreplay to be primed for sex, she says.
The good news is, you can get more — and have better sex as a result. Here's how:
Your partner might not know you're dissatisfied with your pre-sex lineup. "Tell your partner that you'd like more appetizers before dinner — and also describe certain foreplay acts that you'd like them to do, such as licking your nipples or kissing your neck," Ransom-Alfred says.
Try out role-playing.
Pretending to get hot-and-heavy with a stranger, or slipping back on your high school cheerleading uniform for a private show, are fun activities that aid in arousal and often lead to additional foreplay, says Ransom-Alfred.
Play sex games.
Many adult games encourage foreplay as you gather points around a board, says Ransom-Alfred. Don't want to buy a sex game? Then try to spice up a classic such as Yahtzee, promising to kiss each time you roll a one, and so on.
Watch sexy movies together.
"This type of foreplay is sexually stimulating and arousing for the both of you," Ransom-Alfred says.
Sext each other.
"Sexiness starts in the mind and foreplay can begin before you even get undressed," explains Ransom-Alfred. So shoot your husband a sexy text or email, elaborating on just what you'd like to do later. "You'll be getting geared up for quite an explosive night after this all-day foreplay session," she says.