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Has your married sex gone from too hot to touch to too boring to bother? You're not alone. "After we settle into commitment, the mystery and excitement can fade as we settle into a marriage built on stability, trust and security," explains Emily Morse, Ph.D., sexologist and founder of the Sex With Emily radio show. "It's key to still make efforts to infuse it with the adventure, the unexpected and variety you had at the beginning."
And luckily, we've got a five-day plan to take you back to the hottest sex you've ever had!
Move Out of the Bedroom Monday
If you've fallen into a rut of only having sex between the sheets, it's time to take the action to a chair. "When a man is sitting on a chair and his partner straddles him, they have the luxury of support for his back freeing his arms and hands to stimulate her, hug her, tug her hair — if that's a turn on to them — and the ability to them to gaze into one another's eyes," explains Sari Cooper, certified couples and sex therapist and founder of Sex Esteem.
Touch Me Tuesday
Tonight's foreplay will work out the kinks — in your shoulders! "Sensual massages bring couples closer together, both physically and emotionally," says Morse. "Sometimes there's a lack of exploration between couples in long term relationships, but getting a massage requires your partner to roam around your body. You both will find out how you like to be touched or how you should touch your partner." The best part? "You're bound to discover erogenous zones you didn't know existed!" she says.
Hump (Like They Do) Day
Who doesn't love a steamy sex scene in an otherwise romantic movie? Watch your favorite erotic scene together, then "try to reenact the parts that are hottest," suggests Cooper. "Don't feel self-conscious if you're not as good as the pros on the screen. Just have a good sense of humor and lightness about it."
"Have oral sex be the only thing on the menu tonight and add some new moves when you go down," says Morse. "Remember your tongue is the greatest weapon in your arsenal!" Morse suggests focusing on his frenulum, "the most sensitive part of the penis," a little V-shaped spot where the head and base of his penis meet. "Trace it with your tongue before traveling back down," she says.
It's not your typical date night — but a few minutes spent at an adult toy store will add hours of spice to your sex life. "Walk around together and see what catches your eye," suggests Morse. "This is a great learning experience for both of you. Plus you know you'll come home with something fun and adventurous to try like a couples' vibrator, beginner bondage kit or even a how-to book."