Why You Shouldn't Surprise Your Parents with Big News at Your Wedding


The time to surprise your parents with a major life moment is not on your wedding day when things are already emotionally charged. Your wedding day is a time of celebration, not the time to test and see how well your father's pacemaker works.

It's not just because it's a mean thing to do to your parents, but making ginormous announcements that your parents will clearly have a strong reaction to — one way or the other — should not be done when there's the potential for the news to ruin their day or yours. It's just common sense.

Even though you've tied the knot, it's really not the time to tell your entire family and all your friends that you're actually several months pregnant if nobody knows. It's also not the time to ambush your very-clingy, single mother with the news that your new husband just got an amazing job offer on the other side of the world. News like this will be greeted with congratulations, but if anybody isn't on board, everybody is going to feel the change in the vibe at your event.

These are the sorts of moments that wedding planners dread. I think the worst one I've ever experienced took place at a wedding rehearsal my second year in business when I was the one who had to explain to the 80-year-old mother of the bride that her daughter wasn't getting married by a rabbi. In fact, it wasn't a Jewish wedding.

See more: 10 Things You Should Never Do at a Wedding

The bride and groom were Wiccan and there was a Wiccan priest officiating. To her credit, the mother of the bride did not pass out. Nor did she freak out. She looked a little shaky for a moment there, but she held it together. I don't know what conversations took place with the bride behind closed doors, but in public, the MOB was a champ.

Regardless of how well they take the news, your wedding planner shouldn't be the one to tell your parents about your non-traditional religion when they show up for the wedding rehearsal.

Any big news that can't wait til after the wedding should be addressed beforehand, at home, in private. Otherwise, hold back your big news to share with everyone after you're married.

Owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico, Sandy Malone has helped countless couples plan their big day since 2007.

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